Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : September 29th 2014 Contents A40
Guardian www.guardian.co.tt Monday, September 29, 2014
The hand-painted sign in Belmont read, "J
Pemberton. Professional pot cleaner," with
cell number to call.
Hahaaaaaa! I bawled with laughter. That has
got to be the wackiest job title ever.
Then I saw the sign again, in Woodbrook,
which meant J Pemberton was serious about
this pot-washing thing. That led me to do some
research. Professional pot washing is not just
a matter of detergent and a wire scrubber.
Hotels and restaurants need to keep their pots
and pans free of that baked-on grease and gen-
Technology has given pot washers some help:
there are rotating brushes with electric motors
and recirculating soakers and electric heaters
that get the water to the right temperature.
But the experts say that hand washing is still
the ideal way to get the job done.
On the other hand, the sign could have noth-
ing to do with recirculating soakers but may
have been a public complaint by an under-
appreciated Woman of the House whose family
never washes up after Sunday dinner and the
signs were her way of shaming them for ruining
Still, "professional pot cleaner" takes this
week s prize for the Best Unknown Job You
Never Wished You Had.
It deposes the former winner which
was "mattress tester," a post held for
40 years by comic strip anti-hero Li l
Abner---the post required him to test
the sleepability of mattresses in the
Dogpatch mattress factory, which meant
he slept all day. A tough job, because
Li l Abner probably tossed and
turned all night, having snoozed
all day, thereby disturbing his
body s circadian rhythms, which
can lead to stress, irritability
Before you frill up your nose
at pot cleaners and mat-
tress testers, you should
know that wacko jobs can
actually pay well.
Last week, I discovered I could make
more than US$55,000 a year as a bingo manager
or ice-cream tester. Abigail Gehring s book Odd
Jobs: how to have fun and make money in a
bad economy is an insider s guide to total work
zaniness. Her father, who had a master s degree,
was known in their hometown in Vermont,
USA, as the Hot Dog Man and spent his days
behind his metal pushcart, in a supermarket
parking lot. He made enough money to
put his four children through college.
Her book describes 100 unusual
jobs that do not require sitting in an
office and wearing a suit. The list
includes embalmer, genetic counsellor
(you tell families they could have a
deformed child and what to do about
it and you don t need a medical
degree, just be good at breaking
bad news), human statue and---
of course---personal shopper.
I have sent her an e-mail
explaining that she needs to add
"opinionista" to her list.
Just the other day I came
across a vacancy for Director
of Know-How, a title which
sounds like it belongs on the
door of the Professor Dumbledore s office at
Hogwarts. The job sounded right up my alley
too---calling for top-notch communication skills
and the "ability to develop talent at a big UK
Until I realised it was just a plain old mar-
keting position, where I would "lead the Know-
How Sales Team" and "develop the strategic
Know-How Marketing Initiatives." In other
words, I was going to be just another drone,
but with a corner office and longer title on my
embossed business cards.
Jobs have become much more creative since
people began posting resumes online. Instead
of just being human resources specialists or
motivational speakers, people now get to be
wizards and gurus. One LinkedIn user intro-
duces himself the Wizard of Lightbulb
Moments, meaning he helps clients unlock new
ideas. Another LinkedIn job-seeker called him-
self a "retail Jedi," which, one supposes, means
he is a heck of a salesman.
But all the jedis, ninjas, wizards, gurus and
know-how bosses out there have to give props
to our own Santana who has the best job ever.
Santana, the most famous puppet since Ker-
mit the Frog, goes to the US embassy (in the
YouTube short by Roger Alexis) to get a visa
and on the application form he describes himself
as "Professional Bad Man."
Not surprisingly, he didn t get the visa.
The best unknown job you never wished you had
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