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January 18, 2015 www.guardian.co.tt Sunday Guardian
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Sunday Guardian www.guardian.co.tt January 18, 2015
Jean and Dinah,
A lesson in
Tie-Tongue Mopsy – Kitch
Begged her “daryin” to “det up” because her “gwand-
mother” was coming over at noon. Virtually kicked the
man out of her bed....
The Woman on the Bass – Scrunter
Inspired a generation of female pannists. Thanks,
The Martiniquian Gyul – Sparrow
Agreed to spend the night with him in exchange for a
costume. Got more than she bargained for. “Sa, sa yea” is
Kweyol for, “Enough! Enough!”
Bahia Girl – David Rudder
Proved that, when it comes to Carnival, the nations of
T&T and Brazil share the same vibration. David’s Bahia
Girl had everyone from San’do to Parlatuvier jamming to
Open Teeth Woman – Sparrow
She and her bag of sugar left the rest of us with straight
The Fat Tattooed Girl – Sparrow
This circus fat lady was so much in love with him that
she had his image tattooed “in a most peculiar place”.
Now whenever she sits down, she sits on him. Now,
And this is just a sampling! Let’s hear it for women in
By Roslyn Carrington
CARNIVAL IS WOMAN, and woman is Carnival. And call it what you want: calypso, kaiso,
soca, the music of Carnival has always been about us, especially our naughty sisters who had
us laughing at their antics, urged on by their passion, and dancing to their beat.
Here’s a roundup of just a few of the Bacchanal Women of Kaiso. How many more can
Ethel – Blueboy, (now SuperBlue)
Liked her disco and rockers, but refused to acknowledge that Trinidad was the true land of
Soca. Shame on her.
Mae Mae – Sparrow
I think we can all guess what Sparrow was doing to Mae Mae on that piece of carpet on the
sand in Claxton Bay ... she was so afraid of getting bitten. What I always wondered was what
the taxi driver was thinking while he was waiting for them.
Rebecca – Blueboy again
Went a little overboard with, shall we say, “consumable chemicals”, and wound up dancing
around in a circle. And so did everyone else who heard her song.
Indrani – Shorty (Later Ras Shorty I)
She was skinny like a whip, but man, he was in love with her. Never mind she was 60 years
old and he couldn’t speak a word of Hindi. The original interracial star-crossed lovers.
Audrey – Kitch
“Shaped” the Trini man’s love of a fat behind for generations to come, thus setting the bar for
all of us.
Teacher Mildred – Sparrow, of course!
Her newly discovered love for lizards bemused her students.
Sumintra – Rikki Jai
Born in a shack in Debe, but wanted nothing to do with the likes of Lata Mangeshkar. She
wanted to be tickled with a lavway, soca-ed till she sesayed. Could have taught Ethel
a thing or two about her culture.
Ivy – Sparrow
She left John for a man in South when he was broke, because you can’t love without money,
and you certainly can’t make love on hungry belly. “No money, no love”, she told poor broken-
hearted Johnny. He responded by ripping off her wig and raining blows, so it’s quite obvious
Ivy was right to leave.
Lorraine – Explainer
She cried when her man left New York to come home for Carnival, but he just couldn’t miss
the jamming. We know that as women we should be on her side, but deep down, as Mas
lovers, we can’t give him wrong.
Gloria – Sparrow
He begged and pleaded, but she left him anyway. Serves him right: all that messing around
with Mae Mae....
Radica – Kenneth Salick
She burned all her bridges and left him like a dog without a bone. Tsk tsk, Radica!
Melda – Sparrow
Tried to use necromancy to rope in a husband, but he was wise to her “charms”, and under
the supernatural protection of his notorious godfather. Funny how he only saw fit to com-
ment on her poor hygiene practices AFTER they broke up.
Dr. Cassandra – Mighty Gabby
Whatever was in that medicine she gave him, it worked miracles! Now he wants more... .
Vio – Kitch
Tried to hid her side-piece man in the wardrobe, but Kitch could smell a two-foot rat the
minute he walked in.
Netty Netty – Roaring Lion
A high-brown craft he hooked up with on Christmas night. Got so over excited by bursting
bamboo outside that she started babbling in Kweyol. (Guess what: the first shipment of this
record was dumped in the POS Harbour in 1936 on the grounds of obscenity.)
Marajin – Sparrow
This sexy dulahin was all he dreamed of. He was captivated by her beauty, in her sari and
orhni, but her nani and her bhowgie did not approve of his intention to jam her to soca tassa.
Olga – Kitch
He claimed he wanted to climb Mount Olga ... Aw, sneaky, sneaky Kitch. We know what you
were up to.
Gemma – Sparrow
Never him again. He took her on a Ferris wheel in Arima, which scared her so badly she had
an embarrassing “accident”. Let’s just say everyone down below thought it was raining.
Hulsie X – David Rudder
The sugar belt queen who planted her bottom on the ground and refused to move.
Sweet Rosemarie - Sparrow
Mr. Walker’s daughter. She was as ugly as a monkey in a miniskirt, but her daddy had money,
so Sparrow was there, itching to get hitched.
Miss Mary – Sparrow
Why was she so big and hairy? We’re dying to know, but we’d have to pay a pound to find
Stella – Lord Nelson
He interrupted Stella’s wedding to another man, pleading for her love. He might have been a
large man, but he wasn’t too big to bawl and beg on the ground.
Jean and Dinah, Rosita and Clementina – Sparrow
A lesson in economics: supply and demand.
Pretty Gyals – Machel
Tenika, Onika, Aisha, Michelle, Dominique, Jenique, Fatima, Adana, Tamara, Samantha, Giselle,
Alysia, Natania, Antonette, Tischelle, Sharon, Karen, Liesel, Debbie, Susie, Cassandra, Darlene,
Shelly-Anne, Yvonne .... Hold strain, Machel, hold strain...!
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