Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : February 5th 2015 Contents B17
Thursday, February 5, 2015 www.guardian.co.tt Guardian
"My country is not a real
country, it s a pretend coun-
try," my girlfriend shrieked
on Monday night in freezing
cold London town. Over
night, the snow fell and we
woke to a blanket of white
and watched Londoners drag
themselves out into the
Before bedtime though,
we'd managed to find a live
stream on CNC3's Web site on a
mobile phone. What a world we
live in where we can be instantly
connected to Trinidad and its
political farces from all the way
across the Atlantic.
Imagine how long the news of
Eric Williams' election victory
would have taken to reach the hud-
dled masses of the Trini diaspora
in 1961---a crackly World Service
signal on a wireless radio, perhaps?
A telegram from Port-of-Spain to
London? A tiny article in the inter-
national section of the next day's
We tuned into our smartphone
just as the honourable Prime Min-
ister declared, "I've asked for and
received the resignation of the
honourable Attorney General."
"Honourable" even in defeat,
"honourable" even in disgrace.
Whether or not T&T is a coun-
try operating within the realm of
fact or fiction, real or pretend, is
not for me to say. But from where
I'm sitting its political governance
has turned into an Ealing Come-
dy---a caper, a laugh-a-minute
cabaret show, an episode of the
classic British sitcom Yes, Prime
I'm fairly out of touch with Trini
politics here in chilly London.
There's enough domestic political
nonsense to keep abreast of---it's
election year here too and it looks
like being one of the most impor-
tant in modern history. So I don't
know what's really going on with
the T&T government. And neither
does the Prime Minister it seems.
I was aware that Ramlogan was
to be removed---an event which
would have prompted a collective
exhaled sigh of relief from the gen-
eral population, had it ended there.
But the exhalation turned into gig-
gles and then mirth as words con-
tinued to spilled out of Kamla's
Griffith out, Nicholas in, Stacy
out, Stacy in, Hamel-Smith out,
Prakash double-in...the outings
and innings were dished out with
And then a heart-stopping
moment..."I ask the President to
revoke the appointment of myself
as..." Wait! No! Surely...Oh.
"...Minister of the People and
She'd ousted herself from her
dual role at the Ministry of Point-
lessness. A bit harsh, perhaps. She
could have given herself more time
to turn that ministry around. But
if one has to flagellate, then let all
be flagellated equally.
The honourable Prime Minister
didn't revoke her Prime Ministerial
position or call an end to the farce.
The farce will roll on...18 ministers
fired in less than five years. It's not
what real countries do. You know
those videos of countries where
Parliamentary sessions descend
into brawls? It's what countries
like that do.
"Did she just say Brent San-
cho?" wailed my girlfriend, col-
lapsing in hysterics and utter dis-
The PM had in fact said "Sanko"
but was quickly corrected.
"Wasn't he the one who had his
ras pulled when they played Eng-
land at the World Cup?"
"Yes," I replied. "I think it was
Peter Crouch who pulled his
dreadlocks and scored a goal."
Peter Crouch, Stoke City's
gangly freak of nature---who
would have thought his name
would ever grace this column?
One never quite knows what
Crouchy might do on the
football field, but one thing
you can be assured of, he
won't ever be given a min-
isterial appointment in the
"His one contribution to T&T
is having his ras pulled!" she con-
tinued. Although later, when she
heard him interviewed on C News
using words like "tenure" and
"abundance" she felt sufficiently
humbled at Sancho's impressively
speedy ascension to articulacy.
"Brent Sancho is also the holder
of an associate degree in English
from Essex Community College in
the USA..." And after several
searches on Google, I'm still unable
to verify whether that college actu-
I turned to Facebook to get a
handle on what the hell just hap-
pened. Trinis on Facebook are too
sweet. As the news breaks the
satire rolls in, in real time.
"What exact qualifications do
you need to be a Minister?" one
friend was asking.
"Sancho GT (get through)!" said
"Stacy like channa and aloo on
a sohari leaf after puja---she get
leave back," said Dr Sheila Ram-
"Saucy Pow appointed Minister
of Gender Affairs, Machel Montano
appointed Minister of Road, Lurbz
appointed Minister of Affairs..."
one fellow quipped.
"Say what you want, like her or
more balls than any other male
PMs who preceded her," said
"Let the chips fall where they
may," said Kamla, with regard to
the independent investigation. But
frankly it could have been a general
and anarchic statement about the
immediate future of T&T.
A POINT TO NOTE
Minister of the Arts and Multiculturalism Dr Lincoln Douglas chats with young members of Petrotrin
Phase II Pan Groove, at the National Panorama Semifinals on Sunday. PHOTO: ANDRE ALEXANDER
Well yes, Prime Minister
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