Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : March 1st 2015 Contents By Roslyn Carrington
SERIOUS TALK, LADIES; it's a great time
to be alive. We have control of our fi-
nances, our property, our careers, our
family choices and our time. But do we
have full control of our own sexuality, or
are we still forced to toe societal lines for
fear of condemnation?
It's true to say that we are more and
more comfortable with sexual relation-
ships outside of, before, or after marriage,
and we certainly have no compunction
about asking for what we want in bed,
but the question remains whether we are
still expected to frame our sexual desires
in the context of a romantic relationship.
In other words, sex is okay if you're "in
But there is more to sex than love, and
sometimes, just as men do, we're in it
solely for the physical and emotional sat-
isfaction that it brings. We'd just like to
call up an attractive, available male, ask
him over, have him drown us in hormones,
attention and satisfaction, and send him
So this week's question is; Is it okay for
the woman to place that call?
Overwhelmingly --- surprise, surprise ---
the men are in favour.
"We don't care who calls; as long as we're
"It's nice of the woman to do the asking
for a change..."
The women we asked had nothing
against it, either.
"I see no reason why a woman can't
booty call a man these days. Especially if
there's a mutual agreement that that's
the nature of the 'relationship'. I am inter-
ested to hear what the men's thoughts
"If you want it, go get it."
As a matter of fact, most respondents
didn't even think the idea of a female
booty call is news.
"That's been going on for years!"
"Happens all the time, but it's more of a
booty text now."
"What do you mean, 'these days'? I did it
back in the day. No harm, no foul. Nicely
done; nothing cheap about it; very func-
tional. A guy once drove 3 hours at 3:00
a.m. to get to me. Of course that was
back in the day when my body stopped
traffic for the right reason. Now it stops
traffic because they don't have enough
room to pass...."
But will he respect you in the morning?
"It doesn't reflect on you any more than it
reflects on me. It's kind of nice, actually."
"It depends so much on the guy's mental-
ity. If he's an immature, macho type he's
going to be so full of it that he'll be telling
his friends. If he's a nice, appreciative man
who values the opportunity to satisfy not
only his own carnal desires but the
woman's too, there is no experience more
"Go for it, as long as you're dealing with an
adult male (and this has nothing to do
with his age, eh!)"
Will YOU respect HIM in the morning?
"Are you going to look at the other side too
--- girl taking advantage of boy and doesn't
respect him afterwards? It has been
Boot call protocols
As liberated as we would like to feel we
are, sex is a sensitive issue, and if it's done
wrong more than your feelings can get
hurt. Here are a few guidelines to help navi-
gate the minefield and escape without
blowing yourself up in the process.
• Respect, respect, respect. Always. If you
feel disrespected, get out.
• Safety, safety, safety. Always. If you feel
unsafe, get out.
• You are not Supergirl. You do not have
enhanced vision. Just because you can't
see germs with your naked eye does
NOT mean they aren't there. If you're
woman enough to have sex, you're
woman enough to ask candid, direct
questions about whether he has any-
thing you might not want to catch. And
REGARDLESS OF HIS RESPONSE, suit
• He has feelings, too. You hate to be objec-
tified; don't objectify him.
• Play nice. He is not a hurricane, blasting
through one door and out the other. Even
though you both know what's on, at least
set the stage with the trappings of a ro-
mantic liaison: a good meal, something to
drink, and maybe a little conversation.
Who knows, it might lead somewhere....
• Finally, did I mention respect?
You're a big girl; you make your choices.
Keep your head on, and always be respon-
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