Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : April 5th 2015 Contents By Roslyn Carrington
HE'S GOOD LOOKING, suave, and urbane ... maybe
not exactly Dainel Craig, but nevertheless there's
something about him that you can't resist. You re-
alise pretty quickly that, despite your efforts
to be a good little girl, it wouldn't take a
whole lot of persuasion to take him
home and allow him the privilege
of rocking your world.
Maybe it's serendipity.
Maybe it's chemistry. Or
maybe you are on the re-
ceiving end of a carefully
planned series of tricks
and strategies that the Se-
cret Brotherhood of
Hound-dogs have devel-
oped over the years, passed
down through the genera-
tions from man to man, with
a single aim: to get you into
We're not saying that's a
BAD thing, exactly, but if you
intend to play, you should at
least know when you're being
played. For example:
Sneaky, sadistic, but effective.
"Negging" comes from "neg-
ative" or "negation", and
simply means making dis-
paraging comments to a
woman to undermine her confidence, making
her scramble to prove herself to you. For ex-
ample, "You're pretty, but you don't seem very
adventurous, you know? Have you always been
such a goody-two-shoes?" it's a pretty good bet
that the response to that is a streak of wild be-
haviour designed to prove to him that the very
last thing you are is goody-two-shoes.
A very effective "neg" in a party or nightclub situ-
ation is to pay attention to everyone around the
woman he's interested in, which will make her up
her game to stand out. Nobody likes to be ig-
nored. Some guys think that pretty women are
especially susceptible to "negging" because a lot
of their self-esteem is based on their appear-
ance. And if their pretty face doesn't seem to
be working, they will pull out all the stops to
make sure it does. And homeboy takes win.
Like Gotham City's Harvey Dent, this guy is
one thing one minute, and another thing
the next. He'll flirt, compliment you, be out-
rageously attentive. He'll send sexy text
messages, and have you convinced that
he and you belong to a two-person fan-
And then, all of a sudden --- nothing. He's pleasant,
but cool. You become just one of the gang. If he
swerves often enough between one state and an-
other, you'll do your frantic best to re-establish that
cosy cocoon you two had before.
He'll let you know he's interested by getting all up in
your face ... well, not literally, but he'll sit too close,
lean in to have a closer look at your earrings,
straighten your zipper, or rest his hand into the
small of your back to usher you into a room. And
then not let go.
This can be cute, to be honest. It's a subtle way of
getting the message across ... except if you're just
not into him, or if you've made it abundantly clear
that you're not interested. Then it's just plain creepy.
This guy will downplay his own sexual experience
(bringing out your urge to "teach" him), or hint that
he only sleeps with women he finds very, very spe-
cial. And you know who wants to feel very, very spe-
We women are validation addicts. We like being
complimented on the aspect of ourselves that we
are most proud of. A good cook loves it when people
wolf down her food and ask for more.
Men are pretty good at honing in on what aspect of
ourselves we'd like them to affirm, and even better
at complimenting us on anything BUT. A low-cut
blouse is a pretty good sign that we carry our best
assets up front, so instead he'll compliment our
teeth. If we constantly primp and preen or hair, he'll
remark, "Hey, I like your shoes."
Why? Because he knows we'll stick around until we
get the feedback we're hungry for, that's why. And
the longer he takes to give it, the longer we'll stay.
In the same way that vicious, carnivorous fish can
scent a drop of blood and zoom in on a wounded
creature, some men can sense when you're espe-
cially vulnerable. For instance, if you've just had your
heart broken, or if life is just getting you down.
"Oh, poor baby. You look so sad. Here, come into my
strong, manly arms. Let me take care of you. Now,
doesn't that feel better?"
Our interaction with the opposite sex is the ultimate
mindgame, with infinite levels, tricks, boosters and
secret weapons. Great; we don't mind a little gam-
ing, but it's a good idea to get our hands on the play-
book and read it cover to cover. Because then, the
odds are forever in our favour.
| RELATIONSHIPS |
April 5, 2015 www.guardian.co.tt Sunday Guardian
WOW MAGAZINE | 7
Our interaction with the opposite sex
is the ultimate mindgame, with infinite
levels, tricks, boosters and secret
weapons. Great; we don't mind a little
gaming, but it's a good idea to get our
hands on the playbook and read it
cover to cover.
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