Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : May 17th 2015 Contents | RELATIONSHIPS |
6 | WOW MAGAZINE
Sunday Guardian www.guardian.co.tt May 17, 2015
By Tishanna Williams
I join the hot OkCupid.
I set up a profile.
I see man looking desperate, and I see man I know.
I change my Location settings.
I pick up man from Barbados to Dubai.
I like man profile who never like back my profile
I alter my profile.
I change my pics.
I pick up new man.
I start to talk to a couple, and then stop.
I went over to the female side to see if maybe it's just the
straight world that catching their tail on these sites.
I realise pickings even slimmer there, say thank God I'm
straight, then began to search again.
I add two men to WhatsApp (one I still talk to. He is an Ital-
ian chef from NY, and a girl love she belly.)
Then I start to get really frustrated....
NOTE: The following is a personal rant and in no way re-
flects anything but my opinion. These dating sites tell you
they gonna 'match you up' with someone that fits you. They
make you fill out all kinds of questionnaires. Then they
match you with 'a setta man' for you to 'Left Swipe' if you
don't like him or 'Right Swipe' if you feel a connection. If you
swipe left by accident, crapaud smoke your pipe depending
on which site you use, because not all sites repeat matches
so you may potentially never see the sexy darkie that you
were swiping right but just then you sneezed and moved
Thankfully, OkCupid repeats matches so if you missed him
that first time, most likely you will see him again. The down-
side: if you purposefully avoided him last time...you probably
will see him again. Also, OkCupid doesn't tell you when your
messages are read, but does tell everyone when their profile
has been viewed, so you can't maco in peace and quiet. I
mean, I want to know who checks me out, but if someone
messages me and I think he looks cute but when I visit his
page I realises he is 4'2 (no offence to these guys, I am just
not the bread that your cheese will ever fit), and I choose to
ignore the message, he is alerted that I checked him out.
Wouldn't that hurt your feelings more than knowing some-
one just didn't answer?
To find out they visited your profile, read your best attrib-
utes in the most spectacularly phrased way, and still chose
to not respond? It's enough to make you drink the rest of
that bottle of wine you keep in the fridge for lonely Friday
nights. So, all in all, after following my amazing friend's ad-
vice, I joined my first dating site and I will say at first I en-
joyed the novelty of it. But when the frogs you're kissing in
hopes of finding a prince or the number of rejections you get
increases in concentration to a level of multiple messages
or lack thereof, you realise you need to have an iron consti-
I did get the opportunity to chat with some of the guys
about their experiences on the site and most were either
new and not enjoying it, or fed up and about to leave ---
again, you need a strong constitution. A few --- and I mean
a few --- were enjoying it, and, funny enough, two started re-
lationships ... with people that they knew personally and
were in no way a part of OkCupid. This doesn't mean the
site isn't a good one. Another colleague of mine told me her
sister found her husband on OKC. I also have a friend head-
ing on a Jamaican vacation with a lovely gentleman she
found on another site, so it is possible --- just not easy.
"Online dating is supposed to be private, but really it's one
of the most public ways you can put yourself out there." I
said to another lovely but single girlfriend of mine while re-
galing her with my OKC stories. "Yeah," she replied, "but
there are other sites you can try. Maybe you should do it
more officially, like a paid site or a more social site like Tin-
der." She has tried them all, and still no luck.
And that's when the mission became clear. I have a strong
constitution and a busy enough lifestyle to appreciate com-
panionship but not need it; I can do a project for all wom-
ankind on the new forms of dating. Because now I want to
know why this is so hard. We are strong, independent, lov-
ing, ride-or-die females. There has to be more in the mortar
than the pestle when it comes to why this is so difficult, and
I will be getting some answers!
When the frogs you're kissing
in hopes of finding a prince, or the
number of rejections you get
increases in concentration to a
level of multiple messages or lack
thereof, you realise you need to
have an iron constitution."
Links Archive May 16th 2015 May 18th 2015 Navigation Previous Page Next Page