Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : June 11th 2015 Contents A26
Guardian www.guardian.co.tt Thursday, June 11, 2015
The Prime Minister
walked out on MP Jack
Warner's contribution in a
concerning the manage-
ment of the country's
economy. With the excep-
tion of her Cabinet col-
leagues, did she know
that according to John
Oliver, HBO's poor British
clone of our very funny
Learie Joseph, that
"everybody hates Jack"
because of the FBI's alle-
gations of financial impro-
priety on his part when he
was a Fifa executive?
Unlike Dr Rowley, the
For over ten years now, I have
continually written job application
columns to the People s National
Movement and the United National
Congress and other embarrassing
entities, asking to do their public
relations work for too much
money. And now, at long last, I
think I have a good chance of being
hired because, thanks to Jack
Warner s shenanigans, the UNC is
so desperate that they might be
crazy enough to actually pay me
for communications advice.
So, today, I am offering messaging
samples showing how to respond
effectively to PR nightmares. And,
just in case the UNC doesn t bite,
I m also offering these professionally
written excuses to everyone else
who ever kowtowed to Jack.
Kamla Persad-Bissessar, 2011
(on Fifa s suspension of Jack for
ticket fraud): "It is a fundamental
tenet of the rule of law that a man
is innocent until proven guilty."
Kamla, 2015: Unless that man is
PNM leader Keith Rowley.
Keith Rowley, 2013 (on Jack s
attacks on the UNC after resigning
as a Government Minister): "The
enemy of my enemy is my friend,
and I m a very friendly guy."
Rowley, 2015: I was only pointing
out that I am not unfriendly, even
though the UNC likes to portray
me as unfriendly because I don t
look friendly. But looks do not mat-
ter to me, except when wining with
Fuad Khan, 2011 (on Jack being
investigated by Fifa for ticket fraud):
"We are prepared to stand with him
in these difficult times."
Khan, 2015: When I said we
should stand by him, I was speaking
as a urologist, not as a UNC mem-
ber. I thought that was obvious
since, at the time I made that state-
ment, I was the party s chairman
and, as such, obliged to sit. Ergo,
I could not have possibly meant
"stand" in the sense of "support"
but only in the sense of "excited"
since these are exciting times.
Sir Fenton Ramsahoye SC,
2010 (in legal opinion on Jack being
simultaneously a Government Min-
ister and a Fifa vice-president): "It
is not easy to see anything adverse
to Trinidad and Tobago or any com-
promise of public life of any kind
by his holding the vice president
Ramsahoye, 2015: I get paid plen-
ty more if I tell clients what they
want to hear.
Anand Ramlogan, 2011 (on Jack
being investigated by Fifa): "Warner
has not been proven to have com-
mitted any sin as yet and it s an
allegation from Fifa."
Ramlogan, 2015: As a devout
Hindu who has been honoured by
the Maha Sabha whose leader Sat
Maharaj is the most respected
Hindu leader in the Hindu world
including Mauritius, it must be
noted that Jack is a black man who
likes Indians and since India with
one billion people has never pro-
duced a top football team, this
proves that Fifa is biased against
Indians and the black men who like
Catholic archbishop Joseph
Harris, 2013 (on Jack resigning
from Cabinet): "Everybody has to
follow their conscience, and if that s
what he thought he had to do, I
have to respect that."
Harris, 2015: I respect everybody s
conscience, even those Catholics
who support hanging contrary to
Catholic teaching, once they make
large donations to restore my cathe-
dral and don t have an abortion.
Kamla Persad-Bissessar, 2011
(on Fifa s suspension of Jack): "It
would be unfortunate if we made
premature adverse judgment and
pronouncement on a matter that is
Kamla, 2015: It would be unfor-
tunate if I did not make adverse
pronouncements against Jack and
lost the election because of him.
Sir Ellis Clarke, 2010 (in legal
opinion): "It is difficult to see how
a conflict of interest is likely to arise
as a result of a Cabinet Minister
being a vice president of Fifa."
Clarke, 2015: I was dead wrong,
but I see much better now.
Reverend Daniel Teelucks-
ingh, 2015 (at ILP s inter-faith serv-
ice two days before Jack s indict-
ment): "Anyone making remarks
that are socially inflammatory, polit-
ically treacherous and anti-national
should be charged for sedition."
Teelucksingh, 2015: I didn t mean
anyone who pays me to speak at
their inter-faith service.
Kamla Persad-Bissessar, 2011:
"I will not prejudge the allegations
against Minister Warner, and until
there is evidence to the contrary, I
stand by him."
Kamla, 2015: I believe every alle-
gation that gets Jack off my back
before the general elections.
Jack Warner, 2012 (at UNC
political meeting): "At the end of
the day, I say to Kamla Persad-
Bissessar and the People s Partner-
ship, till death do us part."
Warner, 2015: I is a dead man
talking and Kamla is the walking
---Kevin Baldeosingh is a pro-
fessional writer, author of three
novels, and co-author of a history
JACK AS EXCUSES
PM's colleagues did not
follow her lead. They did
not walk but displayed
their narcissistic approval
by desk thumping while
firmly glued to their re-
The PM's action was
similar to that of the op-
position leader's when the
no confidence motion was
moved against him. In
fact, the PM followed in
Dr Rowley's footsteps!
Did she expect to walk
into his open arms or was
she trying to distance her-
self from the now interna-
tionally controversial MP
Jack Warner? Or, was she
trying to prove, as was
said by her two discarded
mentors, that "politics has
a morality of its own" and
that "yesterday was yes-
terday and today is
Kamla follows in
Jairam Kuarsingh leads his heifer out of the lagoons at Pluck Road, San Francique, to another grazing ground on Monday. PHOTO: KRISTIAN DE SILVA
OUT TO PASTURE
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