Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : June 11th 2015 Contents Stone has been trying to
figure out how to explain
to Ziya that sometimes your
best friend no longer wants to
be your best friend, and though
sadness is inevitable, there s
nothing to do but resiliently be
yourself, let go and move on.
"Is it a schoolday?" Zi had
asked when she woke up one
morning this week. Because of
her difficulties negotiating such
a changed relationship, she did-
n t want to go to school.
Indeed, the social life of four-
year-olds is like curriculum
from the school of tough love.
This life lesson had been long
coming. When Zi moved up
this school year, the little friend
she virtually worshipped no
longer clung to her, and she s
spent the whole year slowly,
reluctantly recognising this.
On afternoons after school,
we would hear endless stories:
how her friend didn t have any
interest in playing with her
anymore and had found a new
best friend; how on another
day they played all through
lunchtime and she felt included
and important again; how she
also had to learn to play with
other girls and find new best
Below these stories was con-
fusion and hurt, and we sup-
ported her teachers in empha-
sising to her that all
relationships change. Ziya does-
n t easily adapt though. She s
shy and self-conscious and,
because of such awkwardness,
can get deeply attached, hold-
ing onto the safety of those
with whom she s comfortable
and familiar, investing more
emotion, expectation and loyal-
ty than is likely to be recipro-
cated, and quietly brooding
over moments and feelings of
I never knew that children
were so emotionally complicat-
ed and sensitive. Or, perhaps, I
never knew I d have to develop
the skills to navigate anxieties
so early, balancing on a thin
line between indulging and
devaluing such momentous
trivialities. It never occurred to
me that I d have a child who
takes so long to adjust to new
situations, new children, new
everything. I m sure neither did
When you are making a baby,
you just focus on its health and
normality. You assume your
child will be exuberant and
confident, smart and hardy.
You hardly anticipate or con-
sider their potential idiosyn-
crasies, paranoias and neuroses,
and you don t expect them
when they are four.
Zi is more fearful than I
imagined possible for children
now encountering the world for
the first time. One night, wak-
ing from fitful sleep, she cried
out to us that she was scared.
"Scared of what?" we asked.
"Scared of everything," she
said, and I wasn t surprised.
At parties with children
from her class, I watched Zi
play by herself because she
didn t know how to integrate
into group play or was the only
one afraid of the height of the
play structure or waves at the
seashore. We began to take her
to her parties early because she
could handle beginning with
one or two children, but was
overwhelmed when on arriving
too many were already there.
We d encourage her to find a
kind friend or older child who
would look out for her, and
were grateful when she soared
away with them. Stone and I
had to learn more patience, and
he explained his own experi-
ence of losing a best friend in
the transition to QRC.
On the advice of Zi s teach-
ers, every day we talk about
who she played with at school,
and what they did. When she
told me they formed a "Super-
girls" group last week and how
all the girls were in it, I felt
that it had taken a year, but
our wallflower had begun to
more independently blossom.
Like us, our children s hearts
puncture and heal, their days
are full of ups and downs, their
discomforts may be perplexing
and their abilities take time to
grow. And, it s not just Zi as so
many other parents know.
Thursday, June 11, 2015 www.guardian.co.tt Guardian
We are looking for energetic delivery personnel to
provide reliable and early home delivery to
Guardian subscribers at various locations in West
Trinidad, and along the East-West Corridor.
You must have a vehicle in good working order.
Able to work nights and early mornings.
Good compensation package offered.
For additional details please contact our Circulation
Department at: 623-8870 ext 2710 or 2172
Or send applications to: Circulation Department
22-24 St. Vincent Street
Port of Spain
Pupils of Freeport Hindu School celebrate their victory in the primary school
category of the Baal Vikaas competition at the Sanatan Dharma Maha Sabha
headquarters in St Augustine on Sunday. PHOTO: EDISON BOODOOSINGH
BAAL VIKAAS VICTORY
I have always been taught every story
has two sides and this story certainly
has! A pity all these letters to the editor
and ads paid for by those associated
with the school are not full of facts.
I read their articles with shock. Why?
Because these people are supposed to
be the professionals and the well edu-
cated of our society but they have done
nothing to prove that they are, and they
continue to disappoint.
Why are they bleating constantly
about their approvals not being signed?
And why are they wrongly complaining
that their children are not being
Quite simply put, if they had done
their due diligence and followed the laws
by filing their applications before build-
ing, they would have found out about
the push-back they are now experienc-
ing long before building and spending
loads of money.
They are complaining about their
young children not being schooled, but
because of their mishandling of this
whole affair, the children are scattered
around town. They are being schooled,
I applaud the chairman of the DMRC
and the CEO for standing strong and
doing their job! The people of DMRC
have been amazing on so many levels.
Why are the directors so persistent in
coming into a community where, it
seems, they are so not wanted?
The school at 129 Long Circular Road
has its playground on Champs Elysees,
immediately to the back of many resi-
dents' homes. Would you want 200-plus
screaming children outside your house? I
We have many schools in Maraval, we
do not need another, certainly not on our
residential streets! We have had enough
loss of residential properties to the intru-
sion of commercialisation.
No more schools on residential streets
I would like to thank all of the medical
staff at the St James Infirmary for the
wonderful and caring treatment given to
me and my family on Wednesday, May 2,
2015. On this day my husband suffered a
massive heart attack and was taken to
this facility for treatment.
He did not recover but I was very im-
pressed with the kindness of the doctors
and nurses who were very concerned
about my well-being.
Thank you again and may God bless you
all and give you strength to continue doing
a wonderful job.
Thank you, St James hospital
DIARY OF A MOTHERING WORKER
LOSING A BEST FRIEND
I never knew that children
were so emotionally
complicated and sensitive.
Or, perhaps, I never knew I'd
have to develop the skills to
navigate anxieties so early,
balancing on a thin line
between indulging and
devaluing such momentous
Links Archive June 10th 2015 June 12th 2015 Navigation Previous Page Next Page