Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : June 17th 2015 Contents A23
Wednesday, June 17, 2015 www.guardian.co.tt Guardian
MOON SIGHTING UPDATE
RAMADAAN 1436 (AH)
The 29th of Sha'baan 1436 (AH) is Wednesday 17th June
2015. Sighting should be done after sunset of this day.
The new moon (crescent) will be born on Tuesday 16th
June 2015 at 10.05 a.m. Sunset on Wednesday 17th June
2015 will be at 6.33 p.m. At sunset of this day the moon
will be 32 hrs 28 mins old.
Muslims are reminded to look for the crescent to
c o m mence the month of Ramadaan 1436 AH.
If the the moon is sighted then the 1st Taraaweeh would be
performed on the night of Wednesday 17th June 2015 and
the 1st Fast would be on Thursday 18th June 2015.
If it is not seen then Sha'baan would complete 30 days and
the 1st Taraaweeh will be on the night of Thursday 18th
June 2015 and the 1st Fast would be on Friday 19th June
ENQUIRIES OF SIGHTING CAN BE MADE AT:
Darul Uloom Trinidad and Tobago
(868) 665-8868/(8568) 665-1442
Published by: Darul Uloom Moon Committee
Rashaad Ave., Mon Plasir Rd., Cunupia
So after John Oliver s paid
broadcast on TV6 last
Tuesday night, one thing
came to mind: Mission accom-
plished! That a man embroiled
in a scandal that has the atten-
tion of the world is a Trini, and
the world is watching us and
LTFAO, vindicates the image
that "we" have been promoting
for decades. Watch we! We spe-
cial! Unfortunately, it s "special"
as in Special Olympics. But
that s never stopped "us"
There are those who think
otherwise, but they re missing
the upside: You can t pay for
publicity like this! A US/UK
comedian with an HBO show
paid to talk to the whole of
Trinidad & Tobago and the
whole world (mostly) tuned in
to listen! OK, I m being snarky
and a little disingenuous.
Some deeply patriotic people
think Mr Jack Warner s being
wanted by Interpol and being
called a crook by every news
medium on the planet somehow
changes the perception of us.
But those who obsess over our
"international image" don t
seem to realise that normal
Trini behaviour, which we invite
the world to see and participate
in at Carnival, is perverse, vio-
lent and horrifying, to put it
But there s another issue in
here. The whole situation of
T&T being the smartman
republic was first pointed out by
VS Naipaul in (his book) The
Middle Passage. This was/is the
land of the triumphant second-
rater, where nobodies from the
Metropole came and stay,
because a second rater is an
aristocrat in a third/rate world
country. (I could name some
names, but another time.)
Many others made that point
before Vidia, but he was and
remains solely vilified for it
(along with The Mimic Men and
Guerillas, both, again, right on
the money). This seems to be
the Trini national reaction to
anything accurate or factual.
Mittelholzer observed the
national propensity for perversi-
ty in his Morning at the Office.
The other Trini Nobel Laureate,
Derek Walcott wasn t too kind
either, in essays like What the
Twilight Says, and poems like
The Spoiler s Return, where you
come across gems of affection
like "All Frederick Street stink-
ing like a closed drain/Hell is a
city much like Port-of-Spain"
and so forth. (Also in there is
the couplet, "I see these islands
and I feel to bawl/Area of dark-
ness with VS Nightfall."
But back to the shame, scan-
dal, and disgrace. As Ian Alleyne
would say: "Doh hot you head."
I could list off the top of my
head several of the things that
we should be much more
ashamed of than the present
Fifa scandal. For example: The
father of the nation was a dead-
beat dad. It s true: Eric Williams
abandoned his first wife and
children in the US.
Some unpatriotic commie
subversives suggest the reason
Williams, like Mr Warner, never
returned to the US was because
he was wanted for failing to pay
This is also the place where
we had an army mutiny in 1970,
and an attack on Parliament in
1990, and all parties responsible
walking round and wining and
laughing at the state!
And let s not forget Trevor
Sudama and his two buddies in
2000, who brought down an
elected government, and more
vex than you when you remind
Away from personalities, there
are also the little facts that this
is the country everyone loves so
much, but one-third of the
population fled between 1962
and 1990. (And who didn t flee
waiting for their now-natu-
ralised relatives to get them
green cards. We have at least
three universities, and a 45 per
cent literacy rate.
And let s not forget Jay Z s Big
Pimpin and Nicki Minaj s
Pound the Alarm videos.
But there s good news. This
seems awful, but compared to
any other country, really, we re
not that bad. Let s not forget
how many people from how
many countries were charged in
the Fifa thing---although these
seem to be employing the very
strange strategy of shutting up
instead shooting off their
mouths in all directions.
Nonetheless, because Trinis
are a sensitive people, but not
very smart, and therefore at a
loss as to how to respond to the
jibes and taunts of foreign
friends, I provide the following
as a public service: retorts to
people from specific nations
accusing us of being barbarians,
brutes, or blockheads.
If an American were to throw
a jibe at you, you could
respond: "Oh, yeah? Why you
ent go and keep up with the
Kardashians?" Or: "Oh, yeah?
You want to see something real-
ly criminal? Check the 2016
Republican presidential con-
If a Briton were to throw a
taunt at you, all you d have to
say was: "Oh yeah? Go hack a
phone to find out what the
Queen had for breakfast nuh."
or "Know what s funny? UKIP.
That s funny."
If a German were to sneer in
their Germanic way, retort: "Oh,
yeah? At least we didn t give
Greece a loan and expect to get
it back. That s funny."
If an Italian were to be foolish
enough to throw a jibe, a Trini
could respond: "Oh, yeah? Go
and bunga bunga with Berlus-
If a Frenchman were to get
fresh, respond: "Oh, yeah? Trois
words mon frère: Dominique
Strauss-Kahn. Or: "Parlez vouz
And so on. While we have
much to be ashamed of, like
Dimanche Gras calypsoes, health
and education systems, our
inability to speak or write stan-
dard English, and the mural in
front of the Parliament, interna-
tional embarrassment over the
esteemed Member of Parliament
for Chaguanas West is a trifle.
What we should be worrying
about is who s going to deliver
the apology to Naipaul.
JACK VS JOHN: THE WINNER IS...VS NIGHTFALL!
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