Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : July 27th 2015 Contents A34
Guardian www.guardian.co.tt Monday, July 27, 2015
Coming to think about it, the
ugly stepsisters in the Cinderella
story were greatly misunder-
The public relations campaign
of the last 300 years has cleverly
cast Cindy as the beautiful
heroine who wins Prince
Charming with a flutter of
her lashes and gaze of her
doe-like eyes, while the
less genetically endowed
sisters have been creep-
ified into jealous mon-
The latest Disney
Cinderella movie star-
ring Cate Blanchett as the wicked step-
mother does everything to perpetuate
the libel. But put aside your prejudice
against flat-chested or overweight women
and do not be swayed by public opinion.
Judge the case on the evidence and we ll
see who is the real villain.
The wicked stepsisters had a point.
"Why can t a fella ever once prefer a girl
who s merely me?" they whined, philo-
sophically, in the 1957 Rodgers and Ham-
merstein musical, as the prince and Cindy
waltzed across the dance floor.
Any real woman coping with slow
metabolism or oily skin would have felt
a pang of truth when the sisters pondered:
why do guys always want the girl who s
Which girl from the neighbourhood
did not feel a tinge of empathy when the
sisters lamented: "She s a frothy little
bubble with a frilly sort of air and with
very little trouble, I could pull out all her
Think of the advantages Cindy had.
She did nothing to be beautiful. She was
born that way. Her parents did all the
work, plus she had a whole magical glam
squad to do her hair, make-up and gown
for the ball. Prunella and Esmeralda
(named Drisella and Anastasia in the new
movie) got bad advice, from a control-
freak mother, and their reputations have
never recovered, which is a warning to
all of us to get the right stylist and life
coach before trying to impress a crowd.
Through no fault of their own, the
stepsisters inherited the crummy DNA.
Who has more courage---the pretty young
thing whose smile dims the sunlight or
the less fortunate who have to be plucked
and polished and pumped to
avoid scaring small children?
Give Pru and Esme some
credit. It takes a lot of gump-
tion to hack off one s toes and
heel to squeeze the bloody
stump into a priceless glass
slipper---which is the real
scoop on what went
down, as first reported
by the Grimm Brothers.
Honestly, what did
Cindy have to offer? A
cute waist that is
bound to widen after
she provides the heir
and a spare, and attends
a thousand boring imperial dinners where
the royal kitchen douses everything with
real butter instead of low-fat substitutes?
Actually, Prince Charming is to blame
for the whole misunderstanding. He had
as much depth of character as a saucer.
Charming knew nothing of Cindy s back-
ground. She could have been an axe
murderer for all he knew. She barely
uttered a coherent sentence at the ball,
no doubt because her corset was too
tight. Instead of having her investigated
by the palace secret service, he hunted
her down like a stalker and then married
her.The real tragedy of the ugly stepsisters
is that they failed to realise that life is
not fair and that a firm bust will always
take precedence over a firm mind. True,
the stepsisters were also horrid little
monsters but the prince had no way of
knowing that, and he should be exposed
as a chauvinist with a foot fetish.
What are we teaching little girls with
this sticky stuff: be obedient and kind
and you will snag a rich husband? If you
are not pretty, you are doomed?
Geez, with that forecast, Cate
Blanchett s vengeful stepmother looks
better and better. Take away the con-
niving and the bullying, and a portrait
of a leader and clever conversationalist
emerges. If she had Cindy s crisis com-
munication team, she could have her
own reality series or talk show.
The first episode? Pru and Esme get
reconstructive foot surgery, take anger
management classes---and they live hap-
pily ever after.
Reconstruct your favourite fairytales
Spare a thought for
the wicked sisters
The real tragedy of the ugly stepsisters is that they failed to realise that life is
not fair and that a firm bust will always take precedence over a firm mind,"
Elsa believes. Here are Drisella and Anastacia, the stepsisters from the latest
Cinderella movie. PHOTO: DISNEY
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