Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : August 6th 2015 Contents B9
Thursday, August 6, 2015 www.guardian.co.tt Guardian
ME WAY TO PLAY. NOWON
REWARD YOURSELF WITH THE NEW 4:00 PM DRAW!
Here in London---and I hope the trend
has not caught on in Trinidad---young
women seem determined to ruin their faces
by having their septums pierced.
The septum, in case you didn t know, is
the piece of flesh, and presumably bone,
that separates your two nostrils. There s no
reason you should know what it s called. In
England the septum became a well-known
piece of the human anatomy around the mid
90s when Daniella Westbrook, one of the
stars of the famous British TV soap East-
Enders, managed to completely erode hers
through years of snorting £500 worth of
cocaine a day.
She was photographed at an awards do
and appeared on the front page of the tabloids
with a space where the middle of her nose
used to be. She later had it reconstructed
which stopped her looking like a porpoise
but I imagine doctors have advised her against
getting it pierced.
Am I too old and boring to understand
the appeal of a septum ring?
Why would anybody, except a tribesperson
in a Papua New Guinean rainforest, even
think of puncturing their nasal divider with
a metal ring? What does it afford the Western
woman other than looking like a prize bull?
It doesn t even offer the virtue of originality
since everybody has them nowadays. In
2014/15 they are accessories as common as
bracelets. They ve even brought out faux-
septum rings for those not brave enough to
have a rivet punched through their schnozzle
but who, nonetheless, still want to look like
there s something crawling out of one nostril
and into the other.
We live in a world where people want to
personalise themselves but by doing so they
just end up looking like millions of other
people---the prime example being the tattoo.
They are so ubiquitous now and the more
common they get the less thought people
put into their design.
But nose rings are even more vacuous than
the tattoos we see today and the celebrity
who started off the bejeweled septum era
was FKA Twigs---an eccentric pop artist
from England who may not have become
quite as famous if she hadn t begun dating
Robert Pattinson of Twilight fame. Perhaps
FKA Twigs will remove hers now she s
unleashing this unholy nose terror upon us.
She doesn t want to look like one of the hoi
In this day and age, remaining natural is
more likely to make you stand out than the
artificial hair dyes, fake eyelashes, tinted
contacts and steroid-pumped muscles we
see around us. Taking natural to its ultimate
levels: I m reminded of the woman I saw
strolling down the Boardwalk at Coney Island
completely topless and casually chatting to
her partner. Hers was a case in point, though
unadvisable in a work environment or on a
busy high road.
We strive to consume and display things
we see as representing ourselves as individ-
uals. The things we have and wear makes
us who we are just as much as our physical
bodies and metaphysical thoughts and ideas.
The things we own, give and receive, accord-
ing to Marcel Mauss, have inalienable qual-
ities. So, while I would like to drive a vintage
1967 chocolate brown Rolls-Royce, to my
family and friends I will always be inextricably
linked to the Peugeot 106 1.1 litre engine
1998-manufactured run-about that my
mother gave me in 2003 and which this
week breathed its last.
That car had been through good times
and bad with me, and though millions were
made, my one was very definitely my own,
there was a personal bond. I probably
wouldn t be able to say that about a modern
Range Rover, even though I covet one in
shiny black. Like the septum ring they have
become all too common.
Value goes beyond money. I loved my car
and wanted to keep it in the family as an
heirloom, despite its faulty brakes and inability
to start until the sixth attempt. Instead I had
to sell it for just £125 to a dealership called
WeBuyAnyCar.com who then deducted a
£50 admin fee and told me my faithful friend
will be used for scrap metal. It was no classic
car, but I still felt guilty for giving him away
to buy a better, newer make and model.
People don t value their own physical
selves these days. They want to look like
someone else. That s fine of course but I feel
happier without ornamentation. I ve never
worn a watch nor any jewelry. When I used
to wear glasses they felt unnatural so I even-
tually had laser surgery. When I go grey I ll
stay grey. Why hide behind disguises?
Noses are lovely things, even the least
attractive ones have an amusing quality that
is entirely absent in the silly piercings that
detract from women s faces. Love your sep-
tums and value yourselves as you are, not
as celeb copycats.
Why hide behind disguise?
People don't value their own
physical selves these days. They
want to look like someone else.
That's fine of course but I feel
happier without ornamentation.
I've never worn a watch nor any
jewelry. When I used to wear
glasses they felt unnatural so I
eventually had laser surgery.
When I go grey I'll stay grey.
Why hide behind disguises?
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