Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : October 8th 2015 Contents Although last Monday s Budget
was typical in containing
vague statements and rehashed
policies and acne cream, Finance
Minister Colm Imbert did man-
age to present the most bump-
tious Budget in the history of
T&T. Not only that, but Minister
Imbert was so bold-faced in his
bumptiousness that he even
denied being bumptious a mere
six paragraphs after he accused
nearly half the electorate of being
immoral, corrupt and family-ori-
This showed that Mr Imbert,
who is an intelligent man, didn t
even believe himself. Naturally,
though, he could not let citizens
know this. And, although I am
not a lip-reader (and, even if I
were, would not care to read
Colm s lips) I thought I detected
him muttering between his lines.
In today s column, the sentences
in quotes are taken directly from
his Budget presentation, while
the other sentences are what I
thought I saw him say.
"Madam Speaker, the people
Well, 66.8 per cent of them
"On September 7, 2015, the
people of Trinidad and Tobago
rejected the politics of deception,
betrayal, greed, arrogance, waste
Because none of the 378,447
people who voted PNM did so on
the basis of party or ten-days or
"Instead, they voted to reject
immorality, inequality, nepotism
Which, as you know, are only
acceptable under a PNM regime.
"At the same time, Madame
Speaker, the electorate embraced
the values of honesty, integrity in
public life, and value for money
in public expenditure."
Get it? Get it? Hm. Tough
"They asked for impartiality,
transparency and sincerity in
Which they aren t going to get.
"They asked for equity and
prosperity for all. They asked for
growth, progress, harmony and
Which makes six impossible
things before breakfast.
"For this honour and privilege I
must thank God who is responsi-
ble for all things."
Not including the 40 people
who were murdered in the month
we took office, that was just
Satan trying to embarrass us.
"I must also thank the Prime
Minister who had sufficient con-
fidence in me to give me the
serious responsibility of managing
the nation s finances."
Because Rowley knows that, as
a white man in the PNM, I
haven t a political prayer of
"I could easily have resorted to
political bacchanal, picong and
My labelling the 353,893 people
who didn t vote PNM as greedy
and arrogant and racist was just
me being me.
"I now wish to make a clarion
call to all to rally around our
programmes and policies and our
Budget theme reflects this vision:
Restoring Confidence and
Rebuilding Trust: Let s Do This
Except for Hindus and atheists.
"The majority of the popula-
tion is exhausted with the poli-
tics of mamaguy."
So are hopefully too tired to
oppose our mamaguyism.
"This Budget Statement will
instead, in a clear and sober
manner, give a professional, hon-
est and transparent analysis of
the true state of the nation."
And, if we follow PNM tradi-
tion, that s the first and last time
you will see those five adjectives
applied in this administration.
"We will aim to be a world-
class sporting nation."
So some athlete out of hun-
dreds of athletes will get a medal
once every five years and allow
us to get some extra votes by
giving him a house and land and
a park named after him.
"Diversification has become an
As it does after every election
for the past 50 years.
"We will ensure that all stu-
dents have free and easy access
in all schools to fast broadband
internet and not just laptops.
This early use of technology will
underpin an expanding knowl-
Never mind that research in
actual knowledge-based societies
show that this makes no differ-
ence to student learning.
"Violent crime and criminality
have hampered our economic
progress. Our institutions have
been weakened. Our citizens have
become disillusioned and our
business sector has developed an
unhealthy malaise with respect to
new investments and confidence
in the economy."
Which never happened when
crime reached record heights
under the 2002-2010 PNM
"Madam Speaker, we will fully
integrate sports, culture, language
arts and physical education into
the education system."
But not science, since that fos-
ters scepticism, irreligiosity and
sweet potato fries.
"The curriculum of our schools
will be modernised with a view
to generating among our young
people an adequate appreciation
and understanding for the history
of Trinidad and Tobago, especial-
ly our history since independence
Great is the PNM, great is the
PNM, and we shall prevail!
Kevin Baldeosingh is a profes-
sional writer, author of three
novels, and co-author of a
Caribbean history textbook.
Guardian www.guardian.co.tt Thursday, October 8, 2015
What a wonderful Republic
Day holiday 2015 turned out
to be for steelband music
lovers of Port-of-Spain and
environs, as CAL Invaders
brought the curtain down on
their 75th anniversary cele-
The event was highlighted
with a steelband parade with
the various Woodbrook steel-
bands heading up Tragarete
Road and making the rounds
around the Queen's Park Oval,
The morning in question
was reminiscent of J'Ouvert
which also saw Trevor Wal-
lace Sailor band joining in the
jump-up making the event a
Later on the same morn-
ing, Panorama champs,
Massy All Stars, together
with Brimblers, St James
Tripolians, Starlift and host
band CAL Invaders enter-
tained the large crowd as-
sembled at the car park.
Hopefully, I and a number
of people would like see this
event repeated every Repub-
lic Day to celebrate our na-
Kelvin La Roche,
I wish to pay tribute to Derek
Hooker, WASA's Senior Opera-
tions Manager for the North
West region, whose untimely
death is both shocking and sad-
Mr Hooker served WASA
with distinction; he was a bea-
con of approachable efficiency at
an institution which has always
had challenges with its cus-
Mr Hooker was responsible
for the supply of water to many
households in a very large area,
and he did not hesitate to pro-
vide customers with his cell
phone number. He could be con-
tacted at any time of the day or
night, holidays and weekends,
and if he was contacted while at
a meeting, he would be sure to
return the call.
There was a period of signifi-
cant water shortage two years
ago and Mr Hooker personally
ensured that homes in the area
received a water supply when
scheduled or truck borne water
as needed. When informed of
leaks, he would dispatch a crew
in minutes. That was the quality
of the man. He singularly re-
newed my faith in public service.
CAL Invaders made Republic Day wonderful
'A beacon of approachable efficiency'
Links Archive October 7th 2015 October 9th 2015 Navigation Previous Page Next Page