Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : August 14th 2016 Contents RELATIONSHIP
August 14, 2016 www.guardian.co.tt Sunday Guardian
WOW MAGAZINE | 19
ased on your choice of a life part-
ner it can be bliss or hell, happy
or hopeless. It should not be
made only because your biological clock
is ticking away or you are terrified of
being alone in your old age. Nontheless
we all make decisions because of their
convenience and certainly not their in-
convenience. While physical attraction
is an important part of the lifelong com-
mitment, it should not be of paramount
importance. Think of what happens
when gravity takes its toll and your
wrinkles start appearing. I have com-
piled a comprehensive list you can skim
through but mull on it before you take
that plunge in deep waters.
1.After what you take at face value...
assess the qualities you want in a
partner. They should include maturity in
character, emotional stability and similar
spiritual values. Observe and listen. Do
you see respect for employers, parents,
siblings or the desire to just have a good
time at every fete? A person who is self-
centreed will soon lose interest if they
are not the centre of attention.
2.Why do you want to get married
to this person? Do they reflect
what you envision or are you day dream-
ing because they know how to say the
right things at right times just to please
you? Are you both certain about loyalty
and exclusivity in the relationship? Is the
future partner a beast when things don't
go their way? Do you intend to tame the
beast or battle fiercely? Do you see each
other being passionate in the future or
becoming like Al Bundy- sour on every
3.Do you think you have what your
partner needs and wants? Do you
communicate well on issues or does one
have to give in all the time? Is either one
of you unwilling to compromise? This is
more important than having KFC or
Royal Castle. Is the person a silent suf-
ferer and moves like the sky fell on their
head or do they bounce back and rise to
4.Look for character and maturity. If
you choose a much younger part-
ner, remember the cost of dealing with
that can be ridiculously high. You don't
want to be asked if your partner is your
son. This can be devastating to your ego
as you age. People change after they get
married. You need to be observant. Do
they turn their head when every poten-
tially attractive person passes by? We
hang on every word and impress to the
max but after we are secured in a rela-
tionship, we lose steam.
5.Think about how your life will
change after you get married.
Where will you both live? How will that
affect your lifestyle, career, education,
budget, family relations?
Are you desperate for a sparkling ring
on your finger quickly and think every-
thing will fall in place? They seldom do
but we try to make every jigsaw piece fit.
6.Is your future partner secure in
where they want to be in life?
What will you have to sacrifice when de-
mands are made? Do they want to go
back and study? Do they expect a full
time maid/chef? Will you have to make
most of the sacrifices? How will you cope
if distance is a problem?
7.Is your potential partner "ketching
tail" like you or expect that they
will handle your salary and you pitch in
for many expenses? If you came from a
home where you did not have any ex-
penses and now have your spending cur-
tailed, you can expect challenges. Most
couples encountering financial difficulties
end up fighting and divorcing. Think and
choose well. More is learnt from what is
unsaid and observed. Operate like you
live in a corner house.
8.Think about the level of compati-
bility. Some may like hiking in the
bush. I tried it but being scared of "un-
known insects" and snakes, I will not ven-
ture out, no matter how much I love you.
It is okay to have different interests. You
are an individual first and then a partner
with differing interests.
9.Is there any scope for each of you to
develop or are you at your satura-
tion point? The ability to deal with unex-
pected issues like unemployment, ill health
etc can make or break the relationship and
I am sorry to say the health system is poor
unless you are paying privately.
10.Will the religion/faith you practice
be discarded in hard times? Some
may opt to curse God and die but it takes
character in an individual to understand
that life is full of challenges. How you deal
with them is what shapes or dilutes your
The aim is for you to choose well so you
will live with the knowledge that some-
body has your back. In society today with
all the "ruction" we need a few faithful
family and friends. One bad decision may
yield devastating damages like a hurricane.
Belief in God, the Supreme Being may be
the only assurance you need to overcome
obstacles. Think on these and Part 2 will
delve further into some crucial and rele-
vant issues to ponder.
Be sure to read Part 2 next week.
Links Archive August 13th 2016 August 15th 2016 Navigation Previous Page Next Page