Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : April 9th 2017 Contents W Section
Sunday, April 9, 2017 guardian.co.tt Sunday Guardian
WOW MAGAZINE | A5
Many couples have quietly called it quits in the bed-
room. The reasons differ but the result is the same...the
sex express has come to a grinding halt. Below 10 peo-
ple open up about what led to the demise of their sex
Not freaky enough
She was unwilling to do freaky things. At first she said
she would try at some point but every time I brought it
up she made me feel like a rapist for asking. I wanted
more excitement from sex and simply couldn’t get it. What
she said really got to me so I just decided avoid sex with
her all together.
Lack of confidence so unattractive
There is nothing more unattractive than a woman with
low confidence who is always threatened by a man’s friends
or family members she doesn’t like and who has no prob-
lem throwing a fit at the most trivial of circumstances
just because it makes her feel bad or hurts her feelings.
Another thing that sours my gaze is the kind of support
one would expect after several years of marriage remains
elusive! It’s harder to be myself now than it was 18 years
ago. It feels like I’m living with an HR Manager always
ready to play up my flaws disregarding the very real human
part of me.
We’re working on it
It was a gradual decision. With the weight gain, the
constant state of fatigue, and crazy hormones, it just
happened over time. It’s not that I don’t love him; we
still have great times, it’s just that we went from no
responsibilities to too many to count. And after a while,
if he got between me and sleep, he did so at his own risk.
Sex became planned; it happened when could fit it into
our schedule, it was no longer spontaneous. And sometimes
the planning was so exhausting, we just skipped sex
altogether. We’ve started to fix it slowly though. Prioritize,
stop doing everything for everybody, get more rest, exer-
cise, help each other. It’s only been a month but we’re
seeing results – we’re not so tired, well not all the time,
just sometimes. And we have more downtime. It’s still
not spontaneous though, but at least the planning works
more smoothly than it ever did before, and it’s just been
one month since we started to try to fix something that
has been happening for years, so I’m hoping that things
can only get better from here.
After a few years the love started fading and then it
started to dawn on me that his penis was way too small
for me. You see when you love a man you are blinded to
everything including the size of his manhood and we hold
them up to the highest pedestal. But once that starts to
break down all hell breaks loose sexually.
I stop having sex with my man because I realised that
of recent times I have to be the initiator. I have to take
charge. When we first met I had this image of him and I
totally ignored the signs that this man was simply a mama’s
boy and could do nothing and when I say nothing, any-
thing without being instructed to do so. So if the lawn
needs mowing, the trash to take out or just for him to
come please me, I have to tell him or at least start it first.
What a waste.
His manhood no longer stands firm. It’s hard getting it
up and when it does come up it’s hard staying hard. You
always have to pack it inside and it’s just limp in there,
no feeling, nothing to wine on. Because of that he has
issues and lashes out, once he even said I should leave
him, but I told him we can work through it. I tried intro-
ducing a toy to help because he said all I wanted to do
was please me but I think that just made things worse.
I was cheated on
I got horn and that just messed with me. Every time
he kisses me or touches me I keep thinking about him
with the other person. I prefer to avoid sex with him on
Too many excuses
She always had an excuse for not wanting to have sex.
Honestly, after the second month of being shut down I
decided to be celibate than pander for sex from her. She’s
always so busy with the kids, handling her friend’s prob-
lems and working that’s she’s always tired. So what though?
I help take care of the kids and I work fulltime. Whatev-
er is the issue, I don’t care anymore. We’re just co-ha-
bituating while taking care of kids.
She loves him more than me
My son is three years old and he’s an attention seeking
little brat. It’s his mother’s fault. He goes to bed late gets
up really early and does not nap on weekends. I can’t
even close my bedroom door to get some action. He just
won’t let up, just stands at the door pounding at it and
screaming bloody murder. I can’t compete with him. I
don’t even want sex anymore, I look at him and realise I
am to blame for my own lack of sex.
She loves raunchy and vigorous sex. Personally I never
had a partner that was so into sex, I was in heaven. After
we got married she would want to have sex every day at,
sometimes at least four times a day. She started getting
really rough, sometimes either even slapping me in the
face or hitting me with a belt. When I couldn’t deliver
the goods she started berating me-calling me a failure as
a man. I started working later hours to avoid having sex
with her. I’m pretty sure she had someone else because
I still haven’t entirely recovered.
Confessions from husbands and wives
who have stopped having sex
“It’s hard getting it up
and when it does come
up it’s hard staying hard”
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