Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : February 14th 2018 Contents opinion A19
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
#1-7 Fitz Blackman Drive
(next to the Hasely Crawford Stadium)
Port of Spain, Trinidad W.I.
Fax: 868 623-6766
with qualified MRI Technologists,
MRI Radiologists and MRI Physicists.
The country’s most
Let the spirit of Valentine’s
spread throughout T&T
Today, thousands all around
the world will celebrate Val-
entine’s Day—sending flow-
ers, chocolates, greetings cards
and dining with loved ones. The
focal point or key word is “love.”
While the love being displayed
is eros, that of passion, I will
like also to see the “agape” love
which is the love associated with
God and is universal.
It would be nice to draw from
the Valentine’s spirit, taking the
aspect of love and translating it
into the love of God shared in
I believe at this time Trinidad
and Tobago can do with a fresh
move of this agape type of love.
When we see the type of acts
committed against innocent citi-
zens—murders, abuse etc, we are
left wondering where is the love
towards our fellowmen?
A song that became very
popular in 1965, written by Hal
David and music composed by
Burt Bacharach, is needed in
our world today and Trinidad
and Tobago is not excluded. The
name of the song is: What the
world needs now is love, love
In my opinion, I believe that
if this “love” can become a
way of life by all, it will assist in
dealing with some of the issues
facing us today. Trinidad and
Tobago needs a revolution of
love spreading across the length
and breadth of the land in the
homes, schools, workplace and
communities where people gen-
uinely care and is concerned for
the well-being of others.
letting that agape love become
part of us and pass it on to those
we daily come into contact with.
In First John we read that “God
tential to demonstrate this love
is there, let us know it and show
it. I conclude by saying allow
that Valentine’s spirit in the light
of God’s love be spread abroad.
recently posted on social media
about Jess beating up Richard
while rough playing, and his
response to my advice to him.
The discussion that followed on
the thread is the basis of today’s
column, but for those who didn’t see
the thread here is the synopsis.
Jess is wild playing with Richard and
he is just taking the hits, so I suggest
beating her back, to which he responds
“nah, I don’t want her to get use to
thinking it’s okay for boys to beat her”
So the debate started about whether
or not it was fair that women be al-
lowed to hit and not get hit back.
Here’s my take...
Our actions and standards must not
be determined by the actions of oth-
ers. If someone hits you, walk away.
Most men won’t be severely hurt with
the first slap dished out by a woman
so they are quite capable of walking
away. Sometimes they may need to
exercise restraint and seek help to
calm the woman, but very rarely is a
proper beat down the only justifiable
form of self defence. If our resolve is
a non-violent one, then regardless of
the other person’s actions we won’t
engage in hit for hit.
Saying you hit me so I can hit you
back is like saying “you looked for
your licks” which is like victim blam-
ing. No woman, I repeat NO WOMAN
“looked for licks”.
There are women who are overly ag-
gressive, there are women who annoy
you and push your buttons to the
point of no return, but at ALL times,
YOU and YOU ALONE are responsible
for your actions.
Maybe we should be sitting with our
sons and teaching them how to ap-
propriately defend themselves against
irrational, irate women. Take them to
self defence classes which will equip
them to disarm any threat in the saf-
est, most non-violent manner possible.
Two wrong can never, should never
and would never make a right.
These subtle lessons make the big
differences in our adults. Telling our
boys, it’s only fair is a dangerous road
to pave. And equally so for our girls.
Yes, teach our girls appropriate action
but never teach them that if they hit
then it’s only fair to be hit back be-
cause then we set the stage for abused
women staying silently in shame or
fear that they were somehow to be
blamed. We pave the road for their
inner voice to say, “maybe I shouted
too loud”, “maybe I embarrassed him
in public”, “maybe I hit him harder
than I should when we were arguing
so that caused him to hit me back”.
The trivial things we condone be-
come the norm. Please, be careful of
the messages we teach. In our fight
for equality, let us always remember
equity. Men are stronger beings and
ries, so no,
fair is not
you—fair is fair
FLESHY FANTASY: Masqueraders from Fantasy and Entice’s presentation of Isle of Olympia enjoy themselves on stage
during the Parade of Bands at the Queen’s Park Savannah, Port-of-Spain, yesterday. PICTURE SHIRLEY BAHADUR
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