Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : March 16th 2018 Contents In one of my psychology
classes, the question for dis-
cussion was “Why do men
kill women?” The ladies of-
fered answers such as low
self-esteem, insecurities, lack
of a proper male role model,
hatred and disrespect for
women, a dominant mother,
and all of the often cited rea-
sons for male disempower-
One young man, about 26
years old stood up and said,
“Miss! Don’t bother with all
of that! Men don’t want to
hear the word ‘No!’ If women
tell us that, we feel rejected.
Useless. As if you rip out our
heart and soul. That is how
we grow up! Women soft.
They could take no. But not
us!” The rest of the class was
laughing as he spoke, espe-
cially at his gesticulations and
facial expressions. But was
there truth to what he said?
In Trinidad and Tobago, the
culture of the society influ-
ences gender roles to a large
extent. There are differences
in the way that males and fe-
males define themselves in
relation to others. For exam-
ple, males have to be strong,
focused and assertive and
females are identified as car-
ing, compassionate and emo-
These “stereotypes” exist
from childhood, as boys are
socialised not to display emo-
tion or to talk about their
feelings, but to “put on a
façade...a bravado” and not
to talk about traumatic issues
that create anxiety and de-
In Jamaican society, one
writer notes that “the social-
isation of men in our country
places tremendous pressure
on them to continuously re-
inforce their masculinity in
ways that are actually toxic
and self-destructive. They are
not allowed to be expressive
or depressed, but they are
allowed to be angry”. So too
Violence is continually por-
trayed as the masculine way
of conflict resolution. Among
males, emotions are seldom
displayed or expressed, and
crying is regarded as “sissy”
or girlish behaviours. This can
affect relationships and when
men feel rejected, they may
lash out in violent and mur-
derous ways. In recent years,
male suicide has become an
increasing statistic and re-
search shows that men are
more likely to use violent or
lethal methods to kill others
or to kill themselves, as these
are more congruent with the
dominant constructions of
masculinity that view males
as aggressive and “macho”.
Working with male and fe-
male adolescents in group
therapy, I have found that
males tend to take a longer
time to “warm up” and to talk
about issues than females, and
many talk only when they feel
they can “trust” the group; if
not, they may remain emo-
tionally withdrawn and rigid.
“Males only” groups therefore
are not to be regarded as sex-
ist but are a recognition that
masculinities and the pre-con-
ceived notions of being male,
are important to boys and
men and that they prefer to
discuss certain topics within
this frame of reference. Until
and unless the wider society
addresses these stereotypes,
it seems unfair and unwise to
ignore that they exist.
The spiralling crime rates
and the increasing statistics
for domestic violence and the
murders of our young girls
and women, demand that we
address gender socialisation
roles in schools and in the
Telling a man NO! should
not be a death wish for
women, but perhaps can be
regarded by males as an op-
portunity for reflection and
change. Our boys and men
must be taught that it is okay
to express their emotions. It
does not make you weak or
effeminate to do so. Let us
teach our males that they can
feel depressed and vulnera-
ble, without feeling as though
their masculinity has been
Friday, March 16, 2018
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TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO.
IN THE PETTY CIVIL COURT IN THE COUNTY OF VICTORIA
AT SAN FERNANDO
No. SFMPC 2017-09373
SAGICOR LIFE INC.
(of No. 16 Queen’s Park West, Port of Spain)
(of No. 31 Mc Kenzie Street, Frederick Settlement, Caroni)
TO: RHONDA MAYNARD
NO. 31 MC KENZIE STREET,
TAKE NOTICE that this action has been commenced against
you in the Petty Civil Court in the County of Victoria at San Fernando,
by virtue of Default Summons and Particulars of Claim, intituled No.
SFMPC2017-09373 in which Sagicor Life Inc., a company reincorporated
situate at Sagicor Financial Centre, Wildey, in the Parish of St. Michael, in
the Island of Barbados and is registered as an External Company under the
Companies Act, Chap. 81:01 of the Laws of Trinidad and Tobago, having
Park West, in the City of Port-of-Spain, in the Island of Trinidad, claims
against you the following:
1. The said sum of $17,271.00 as money received by the Defendant in
respect of advances paid by the Plaintiff.
2. Interest at such rate as this Honourable Court deems just.
4. Such further and/or other relief as to the Honourable Court may seem
And that it has been ordered that service of the Default Summons and
Particulars of Claim be effected by way of advertisement in a local daily
newspaper of general circulation in Trinidad and Tobago once weekly for
two consecutive weeks.
AND FURTHER TAKE NOTICE that by order made on the 14th day of
December, 2017 by the Honourable Petty Civil Judge Lisa Singh-Phillip
the Plaintiff was directed to effect service of the Default Summons and
Particulars of Claim in this action by an advertisement in a local daily
newspaper of general circulation in Trinidad and Tobago once per week for
two consecutive weeks.
AND ALSO TAKE NOTICE THAT the matter is adjourned to the 17th
July, 2018 at 9:00 a.m . at the Petty Civil Court, San Fernando.
AND FURTHER TAKE NOTICE that you must within fourteen (14)
days from the date of the last publication of this advertisement, which will
appear one week from the date of this advertisement, obtain leave to defend
to the Claim on which the Plaintiff makes on you.
Dated the ________ of _______________________ , 2018.
PETTY CIVIL COURT,
Rejection translates to homicide
It is time the police in T&T acknowledge the fact that
when placing a restraining order the man should be
closely monitored. The order could mean certain
death for some women. This tardiness in following up
on complaints makes our police seem unprofessional.
Is this the T&T police view? Women are chattel.
Women should show obedience. Women should be
happy that a man even looks in their direction. If you
cannot get your act together, we the police have no
time to do it for you. There are more important cases
than domestic violence.
We all appear appear to exist in a time warp regard-
ing the perniciousness of domestic violence. Over the
last ten years, how many women in T&T have been
murdered after placing restraining orders? The num-
bers are escalating and homicide figures are greatly
“enhanced” when a significant number of murders of
women are added to the statistics.
I take no pleasure in reiterating that many males in
T&T appear emotionally/mentally unstable. The word
“No” is translated to read “shame.” This country is
small. There is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide from
a man who feels scorned. A tabanca easily translates
into “justifiable” homicide.
Disrespectful of me? No. Not when women are
viewed as collateral damage. The real disrespect is
asking the police for help and none is forthcoming.
You cannot ask the dead how they feel about being
When NO! means death
President, T&T Association of Psychologists
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