Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : May 25th 2013 Contents 12
The month of June is one of the most popular
months for weddings. If you have been chosen
to fill the shoes of the best man, you better be
prepared because it's not every day you can be
considered to be the best. If you want to take
this role seriously here are a few things to help
you along the way.
PLAN THE BACHELOR PARTY.
Chances are you are the groom's best buddy, so
you are at an advantage, you know what the
• Start by having the end in mind. Make it fun.
Not anything out of this world or accident
prone because you would want your buddy to
be ready for his big day.
• Surprises can range from the very wild party to
a casual home gathering, Consider his interest
and personality when choosing what you want
• It's nice to surprise your friend with what he'll
be doing at his party, but be sure to cater to his
personality and interests.
Get fitted for a tux/suit. In former times, eti-
quette dictated that the groom pay for rental or
purchase of the tuxes for his groomsmen. These
days, the groom often expects you to pony up the
dough yourself. Personally, I find it in poor taste to
ask someone to be in your wedding and then ex-
pect them to pay for their own tux, but it's be-
come a common practice.
Whether you're buying or renting, paying or not,
you will likely be expected to get fitted for your
tux or suit. You're responsible for showing up to
the appointment and making sure the other
groomsmen do as well.
Go to the rehearsal. The day before the wed-
ding, there will be a rehearsal held where the ac-
tual wedding will take place. It can't start without
you, so be sure to arrive on time. It should only
last for a half an hour or so.
Go to the rehearsal dinner. After the rehearsal,
those in the wedding party (and other family and
friends the couple may have invited) will head
over to the rehearsal dinner, typically held at a
restaurant. There is usually toasting at the dinner,
and while you are welcome to make a toast, I rec-
ommend holding off until your big speech at the
wedding reception. You don't want to use up your
THE DAY OF THE WEDDING
A wedding day is a whirlwind of activity. Your
job as the best man is to take the burden of stress
off the groom and onto your shoulders. You'll be
his go-to guy: his support, assistant, and valet. You
make sure things are in place, that the groom has
what he needs, gets to where he needs to be, and
stays relaxed. If you do your job right, the groom
will only need to worry about walking down that
BEFORE THE CEREMONY
Hang out with the groom as he dresses for the
ceremony. Keep your friend calm and relaxed (al-
though not with spirits). There may be some
downtime before the ceremony, so play some
video games and just chill. Skip questions like,
"Dude, are you sure you want to do this?" and in-
stead offer calming encouragement.
Make sure the groom has whatever he needs.
Not just for the wedding but for the honeymoon
as well. He may not be coming back to his
house/hotel/apartment before heading off into
the sunset with his bride. So make sure he has the
marriage license, that he's all packed, and that the
luggage, tickets, passport, etc. get put in the car.
Drive the groom over to the wedding location.
Get there at least 30 minutes before the cere-
Distribute the boutonnieres and make sure
the groomsmen are wearing them properly.
They should be placed in the buttonhole of the left
lapel of one's suit jacket. If there's no buttonhole,
then pin them there.
AT THE CEREMONY
Enter with the groom. The order of the wed-
ding processional varies by the type of wedding
and the couple's faith tradition, but most fre-
quently the minister or priest, best man, and
groom (in that order) come into the church
through a side door at the front.
Hold onto the groom's ring. It's your job to keep
the ring safe and sound in your pocket and to fish
it out at the appropriate time during the cere-
mony. This is one thing you absolutely don't want
to flub, lest you end up as a clip on America's Fun-
niest Home Videos.
Don't faint. See the aforementioned reference
Escort the maid/matron of honor out of the
church at the conclusion
of the ceremony.
Sign the marriage li-
cense. After the wed-
ding, you may be asked
to be a witness and sign
the marriage license.
At the Reception
Dance with the ma-
tron/maid of honor and
Kick off the toasting
with the best man
speech. This is the job
that probably first
comes to mind when
you think about being
the best man. And it's
probably the job you're
most nervous about.
But don't worry, we've
got you covered with a
foolproof plan to knock
your speech out of the
An interesting side
note: The best man
used to also read
telegrams from well-
wishers who couldn't
make it to the ceremony
Decorate the get-
away car. During the re-
ception, sneak out with
your groomsmen and
decorate the bride and
groom's getaway mo-
bile. Make it kitschy, a lit-
tle embarrassing, but
not uber annoying. And
of course, don't get too
carried away and dam-
age the car. Use your
judgment in how far to
take it by how good of
sports the bride and
Tying some cans with
string to the underside
of the car is classic, as is
writing on the windows
with window paint. Stick
some balloons on the
outside and stuff them
in the interior. Tape
some ribbons to the
hubcaps. Stick on some
window clings. They
make personalized wed-
ding specific ones, but I
would go with some-
thing truly random like
Dale Earnhardt, I Love
My Coonhnound, and
Hannah Montana. But
that gives you an idea of
my sense of humor.
If they're renting a
limo or a slick set of
wheels, you'll probably
have to skip this step.
After the wedding,
bring the groom's tux
to the cleaners or back
to the rental shop. Take
care of this while he's on
Written with information
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