Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : July 6th 2013 Contents A29
Saturday, July 6, 2013 www.guardian.co.tt Guardian
People say Canal too political
We want something comical
I could be a real jackass
And make people laugh
Politicians now giving back kickbacks
Police men no longer own de blocks
Crime gone outa season
And the hospital...
---Happy Song, 3 Canal
If you don t laugh, you will cry. And
crying is not a good look on an
island so caught up with appear-
So laugh. Laugh deep. From inside
your belly. The same place where the
fear resides. So deep it take root
inside you. The fear and the laughter
come from the same place.
Election time is like an island wide
comedy festival and if I was a come-
dian I would be looking for a next
work because these politicians could
give you a run for your money, oui.
I mean how else you could explain
why television stations invest so
much in the news and not in produc-
ing some local shows?
Because for an hour every night we
get a glimpse of real entertainment
and the truth of Trinidad s political
comedy is stranger than any fiction
we could come up with.
From the slapstick to the slapdash
to the racist to the bawdy. There are
stale jokes too.
And ones that you ve heard over
and over again. But you still laugh
because you feel obliged to.
Our politicians cover a range of
tastes and persuasions. You really
can t fault them for being so varied in
the ways they make us laugh.
And you know what is the best
thing? That they could keep their
faces so serious. That they could act
as if they are unaware that they are
making the country a punchline in a
fifty year joke.
You wonder sometimes if they plan
these things. If the Opposition and
the Government sit down like the
writers and producers of Saturday
Night Live and discuss and plan how
they re going to distract us with jokes
If they study which of our buttons
to press to keep us laughing so that
we don t get serious enough to actu-
ally demand good governance.
In one seat five people running.
And the relics. Oh the relics who
saunter out of the political La Basse
smug and smiling as if the stench of
their past rubbish doesn t follow
They are the ones with the best
comic timing. Catching you unawares
like Sprangalang in drag. By now you
laughing so hard you holding your
You laugh until you holding your
belly from the cramping pain. The
terror of not taking yourself seriously
enough to demand better for your
It is a familiar and unpleasant pain.
You have been here before. You have
seen this before. And everytime in
your past that you came to this point
of doubling over with the sheer agony
of laughing so much, the joke was at
Still you can t really remember the
joke that has brought you to tears.
Sometimes it s not the joke itself but
the way it is delivered.
Sometimes it is not the joke itself
but the implications of it that make
They know us so well. What kicks
to make for us to laugh. Electoral
process is the biggest joke of all.
I was laughing at the news. I was
laughing hard. And steupsing long
At the same time I followed the
progress of a friend from Zimbabwe
as she stood in lines for nine hours
over two days just to register for the
opportunity to vote in their elections
at the end of this month.
I stopped laughing then.
What sweet in goat mouth does
always sour in he bam bam. So they
But human beings like to make the
same mistake over and over again
until it becomes a habitual way of
being and you can t remember a time
when you weren t like this.
When politics was a serious profes-
sion. When you thought that you
could make a difference by putting
yourself up for a leadership position.
Were those days ever here? I can
only make a history book guess that
there were a few years when it was
so. I don t know that reality from my
time on this rock.
It seems like the politicians were
always jokey or duncey. It seems like
a ship was always about to sink and
we faithful patriots continue to
choose to stay and perish slow.
I don t know. I don t have enough
of a sense of humour to find this
even remotely funny.
It s like my funny bone break with
the last election. I have no laughs
I want something else but don t
know what it is, far less how to get
it.It s hard to laugh so hard when you
come to the stunning and dreadful
realisation that the joke is you.
Another world is not only possible,
she s on the way and, on a quiet day,
if you listen very carefully you can
hear her breathe.
SILLY SEASON COME BACK AGAIN -
Please allow me space
in your newspaper to give
air to a tactic that is used
to prolong a matter in the
courts of T&T by using a
delay tactic, ie not granting
disclosure to accused
peoople in a timely manner
so as to speed up the jus-
The police service of
this country needs to pay
special and grave attention
to proper investigation be-
fore an arrest is made and
people are dragged before
the court. In T&T, people
are charged merely be-
cause the officer thinks a
crime has been committed
and leaves it up to the
magistrate to decide.
For example, you are
found in a car with mari-
juana in the trunk, but you
are merely in the car as an
innocent passenger having
no idea the driver collected
the marijuana some days
before and had it in his car
trunk. Your mere presence
in the car will cause you to
be arrested because the
officer is not interested in
investigation; that is left
up to the court. The officer
is only interested in arrest
and having his name and
photo in the newspaper.
When the matter is
called before the court, the
police are asked for disclo-
sure by your lawyer only to
be told that the file was
sent to various places and
disclosure will be had by
the next hearing. Just get-
ting disclosure sometimes
takes years before a mat-
ter can start.
This is unfair to inno-
cent people who are wait-
ing to have their names
cleared. This also denies
people involved the right
to a speedy trial.
I am sure that all people
involved in the legal frater-
nity are aware of this. Why
is nothing being done, no
penalty imposed on people
keeping back matters by
using the disclosure-delay
There is a time limit as
to when a charge can be
laid but none for disclo-
sure. Will the Government
do something to stop this?
President Carmona, can
you be of assistance?
off at fuel pump
Whereas the Govern-
ment and hence the tax-
payers are being ripped off
by the fuel subsidy racket,
the consumers are also
being conned at the petrol
Having arrived to fill up
at a popular petrol station
Sunday, I am told, "Sorry
boss, we outa Super." "Ok, I
will take $100 in premium."
I paid cash this time as
last time my credit card
was swiped twice. I wait a
few minutes and then get
out of the car, only to find
the Super gasoline nozzle
in the tank. When con-
fronted I was told that he
was trying it "but it flow-
ing real slow" and changed
to the Premium nozzle.
When told that I wasn't
in any hurry and will accept
the "slow fill" I found that
the pump operated nor-
These are young chil-
dren all of a sudden very
enthusiastic about their
jobs, even competing with
one another to come to
Petrol station rackets
are by no means new, but
it seems that it has now
become a training ground
for our youth to be dishon-
It's Your Write
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