Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : July 13th 2013 Contents 22
The simple but powerful "One Minute
Breath" is a Kundalini Yoga technique that
can help reduce anxiety and fear and pro-
mote a relaxed, meditative state. Inhale
through your nostrils for twenty seconds,
hold the breath for twenty seconds then ex-
hale through your nostrils for twenty sec-
onds. If unable to make twenty seconds
initially, practise ten seconds per segment
and gradually build to twenty as your lung
capacity expands over time. Repeat the se-
quence at least three times per
sitting or as necessary.
The average person
takes about fifteen
breaths per minute (in-
hale, exhale constitut-
ing one breath). Such
quick, shallow breath-
ing is both the cause
and result of tension
and stress. Notice
how rapidly you
breathe when hurried
or anxious. Notice
how slowly and
deeply you breathe
when at peace. Using
the One Minute
Breath to reduce
your breathing cy-
cles can help main-
tain the relaxed
holiday feeling you
don't want to lose.
Elspeth Duncan is a
multimedia artist and
KRI certified Kundalini
We have a tendency to feel justified
in saying no only when someone makes
an unreasonable request, but some-
times it's necessary to say "no" to rea-
sonable requests also -- if it's not how
we choose to spend our time, or if
something else is more important to
you! This may sound a bit harsh, but it's
better to say "no" than to say "yes" and
Most of us hesitate to say no as there
is an inherent need to be liked. We fear
that by saying a no, we might be dis-
pleasing the other person. Most of us
are conditioned to put others first and
oblige to please others, in the name of
being 'unselfish'. We MUST help people
with problems! As Boy/Girl Scouts, in
primary school, through our church...we
WANT to be the Hero! They will appre-
ciate you for "helping"...for managing
their problems. So we end up making
promises we can't keep, or are not
equipped to keep. We are programmed
at an early age to fail!
By learning to say no, you are creating
more TIME for the things that mean
most to you; you are also freeing your-
self of obligations and commitments
that are going to cause you stress. By
saying a no to things you really do not
want to do, you are saying yes to the
'positive' things that life has to offer
you. Don't worry about being disliked or
ostracized. The people who didn't like
you won't abruptly change their minds
and start liking you because you said a
"yes" to their request. And the ones
who like you will understand why you
had to say "no."
Learning to say "No"
If you are uncomfortable saying "no",
then take some time before you com-
mit to anything. Make your standard
line be "let me think about it, and get
back to you..." Think about all the "what
ifs", the time factor, and your know-how
before you respond to the request. If
your internal questions are not satisfied,
then you answer should be "No!"
Remember...doubt means don't!
Some of the reasons you may find it
difficult to say "no":
Especially when holidaying, it's easy to relax in Tobago---laid
back lifestyle, minimal traffic, scenic beaches and natural
treasures around every corner, But how do you maintain inner
peace when your Tobago retreat comes to an end and you re-
turn to the hectic hustle and bustle of everyday life and work?
Do you find it difficult saying "no" to your boss, your husband, your wife, a close friend, or even your kids?
• You are afraid of conflict.
• You are concerned what others will
say if you say "no."
• You are a people pleaser.
• You put the needs/wants of others
ahead of your own.
• You want to be compassionate and
• You don't know how to let others
• You need/want to be liked.
• You don't want to be disrespectful.
• You want to show you are a team
• You want to keep the peace.
• You fear lost opportunities if you say
• You worry about burning bridges.
• You feel a need for control in how
something is done; so if you don't do
it yourself, it might be done poorly.
Sherry Jerimie LCSW-R, MS, MSW
Psychoanalyst / Psychotherapist
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