Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : August 26th 2013 Contents A31
Monday, August 26, 2013 www.guardian.co.tt Guardian
The Government of the Republic of Trinidad and Tobago
MINISTRY OF LOCAL GOVERNMENT
The Ministry of Local Government hereby notify Mr. Ashram Dial,
Legal Counsel II, on Contract in the Ministry that you have not
reported for duty since August 13, 2013.
Accordingly, you are therefore notified that failure to communicate
with the office of the Permanent Secretary of the Ministry of Local
Government by August 29, 2013 will be considered that you have
abandoned your duties/job.
OFFICE OF THE PERMANENT SECRETARY
Kent House, Long Circular Road, Maraval, Trinidad W.I.
Tel: 868-622-7410; fax: 868-628-7283, E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
Whatever happened to the
truth? Everyone seems to
feel that improvising on the spot
is acceptable. Say anything you
want and make a lame excuse to
correct a lie later. Clearly, the
truth is no longer sacred.
Students cheat on exams and
lie about it. Athletes cheat and
lie about it. Countless athletic
heroes have turned out to be
nothing more than puffy-faced
steroid users who have pumped
themselves up with illicit drugs.
It turns out we couldn t even
trust Lance Armstrong, who
pulled on our heartstrings as a
survivor of testicular cancer
capable of winning countless
People steal other people s cre-
ativity and peddle pirated movies
and pirated music boldly on our
streets. Switch on the television
or open the newspapers and
sometimes it seems like the
whole world is involved in a con-
spiracy to spread lies.
The last straw for me was a
recent story on the People s Park
of Luohe in the Chinese province
of Henan, where a zoo decided
to dress a dog up as an African
lion and put it on display for
spectators. I thought that lion
looked suspicious, but then I
have a dog that looks like a tiger,
so what do I know?
Apparently patrons never
expected to be fooled by a zoo.
Agence France-Presse reported
that "the hoax was exposed
when the dog, a Tibetan mastiff,
If a woman and her son hadn t
witnessed the barking lion, all
might have gone smoothly. The
dressed-up dog might have
looked a little suspicious, but
people would have probably just
thought it was a pathetic-looking
This I am sure of because I
have always believed what PT
Barnum, the famous circus direc-
tor and master of the freak show,
once said: "There s a sucker born
every minute." Unfortunately, I
recently learned that PT Barnum
cannot be credited with that
statement. This is a whole other
story and a whole other lie.
Meanwhile, in the zoo in
China, two rodents have been
placed in a snake s cage. I hope
the zoo isn t trying to pass off
the rodents as a snake.
A white fox found its home in
a leopard s den and a common
dog has been pretending to be a
wolf. That s not so bad. After all,
dogs and wolves are related.
Apparently irate patrons have
not been able to get the zoo to
reconsider its misguided policy.
The zoo has reportedly painted
some dogs black and white and
tried to pass them off as pandas.
At this juncture in the story it s
probably important to say some-
thing about lying.
Once someone gets away with
a lie, he can t help himself. He
has to keep going. The truth
becomes a distant, murky notion
that just can t surface again. The
lie takes on a life of its own.
It snowballs---even in a hot
place like this---and it gathers
supporters as it rolls down its
Once caught, liars usually
invent lame excuses---all of which
they find are credible because
they feel the world is an incredi-
ble place filled with dotish peo-
ple who will never know the dif-
ference between the truth and a
lie. People bank on forgiveness---
or perhaps we re all cynical
enough to accept liars as a norm.
So here s the zoo s excuse: the
real lion has been temporarily
sent to a breeding facility.
All of this sounds a bit fishy to
me, but then it s difficult some-
times to extract misguided expla-
nations from downright lies that
crop up in the most unexpected
Take, for instance, the two
men who came to deliver some-
thing to my house the other day.
I swear to God this is a true
While standing at the gate,
they spotted my brindle pitbull
Worker one: "That dog looks
like a tiger."
Worker two: "It s the lion in
Worker one: "The lion?"
Worker two: "Yes, a long time
ago lion and dog mixed together
and that s how you got dogs that
look like tigers."
Worker one: (Studying Rambo):
"Oh, I didn t know that."
This was probably my cue to
say, "Excuse me? That s a down-
Instead, in the spirit of the
untruths that prevail in our neck
of the woods, I walked away
with nothing but a smile on my
That same smile surfaces
whenever I think about the arti-
cle on the Chinese zoo passing
As Trinidadians, we are a peo-
ple who like to take our cues
from what is going on in the
world. We fancy ourselves as
being able to compete with any-
one on any level--- including the
less-than-fine art of lying.
Remember Lord Nelson s calypso
"That is lie..." And this is why
I am certain that we can outdo
any of those displays in a Chi-
Remember, I have Rambo. He
could pose as a tiger in our zoo.
Would Trinidadians really notice
the difference? And if they did,
would Rambo posing as a tiger
seem any more scandalous than
any of the lies we swallow on a
Would anyone dare to speak up
even if Rambo happened to bark?
Pardon me. I m going for
Rambo s leash.
LIE? THAT IS LIE!
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