Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : September 3rd 2013 Contents A24
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Igot married Saturday. Three
months ago my live-in partner
and I decided to make our
union legal as we had long
planned. This would be my sec-
ond marriage; and my partner
was a longstanding bachelor. Nei-
ther I nor my fiancé wanted too
much of a fussy wedding, we said
to my soon-to-be-in-laws. A
small ceremony, with a block
party for a reception, was our
Have you ever heard of
Bridezilla? It s the name given to
the monstrous kind of bride who
wants the biggest, grandest, most
expensive wedding and behaves
like Godzilla, the Japanese cartoon
monster, to get her way.
I guess I was the opposite,
Brizezuki, if you will. (Godzuki
was the adorable, infantilised, tiny
version of Godzilla in the car-
toon.) I wanted almost everything
every smaller, ever less complicat-
ed, taking my reductionism to the
ultimate degree when I tried on a
thrift-shop wedding dress. (It
didn t fit.)
Through three or four changes
of dress ideas, ceremony venues,
menus and other wedding plans,
my fiancé patiently allowed me to
fritter away about a month. We
started pre-marital counseling
with my dear friend the Rev Cliff
Rawlins, the pastor who would
wed us, and we still didn t know
where he would be doing the
Finally, the thousand little
details required for a wedding
began to come---slowly, slowly---
together. When the dream
venue---a friend s exquisite gar-
den---fell through, we settled on a
very intimate ceremony at my
partner s parents home. It would
be my partner, his parents, me
and my girls, the best man, the
maid of honour and the pastor,
Instead of the dream dress by
The Cloth or a glamorous Peter
Elias gown, I bought a veritably
bedazzled shalwar at the Indian
Expo, and my fiancé s suit gave
way to a shirt and pair of pants.
Everything would be simple, as
simple as we could make it.
Jamaica on a long-arranged family
vacation with my sisters and our
respective families, leaving every-
thing at home in my fiancé s
hands. People thought I was
When I got back to Trinidad
from my holiday, I found that my
entire neighbourhood had pulled
together to make this wedding
happen. On Saturday morning,
my intimate, family-only ceremo-
ny had turned into a much wider
celebration. Apart from family,
my fiancé s friends packed the
house and interjected funny com-
ments during the ceremony, com-
ments that had everybody laugh-
ing, from Rev Rawlins go down.
In the kitchen, neighbours
worked all day to make and serve
huge pots of food; downstairs,
our neighbour, a DJ, was spinning
the biggest tunes. Neighbours
with cars ran last-minute errands,
bringing ice and guests. Every-
thing "fell into place" with the
help of dozens of people in our
families and our village. I felt
enveloped by love and support.
While on holiday I had a lot of
time to think about why I was
getting married, and what I
wanted in my wedding. I also had
a lot of time to think about what
I wanted from life.
My first marriage, when I was
19 and my husband 21, was about
youthful enthusiasm and mistak-
ing deep friendship for romantic
We had obnoxiously loud and
frequent fights about ridiculous
things when we were married---
fights we wouldn t have had as
friends. (I should have known we
wouldn t have worked because I
didn t really get Monty Python, a
comedy troupe he worshipped.)
I still love my ex-husband; he s
one of my oldest and dearest
friends, but even a blind man
could see that his second wife is
a much better match for him
than I was.
In contrast to my first mar-
riage, my partner and I have a
peaceful, calm, grown-up rela-
tionship (though not without fire-
works in the appropriate places,
thank you very much). We can
have a disagreement without it
degenerating into a nuclear war.
And now that I ve lived 20 more
years and have raised two chil-
dren, I have much more patience
and at least understand the
meaning of the word of compro-
Nothing is guaranteed. There s
no way of knowing whether this
marriage will last longer than it
takes for the ink to dry on the
marriage certificate. But with
God---and our friends and fami-
ly---on our side we have a shot.
We ask for your prayers for our
continued happiness and thank
you for your good wishes.
LISA ALLEN AGOSTINI
Fiery protest as police kill Beetham resident
There are two sides to every story; and this case tells of such. It is all
too common in the depressed areas.
Hopefully, we will learn the truth.
Another life lost. Condolences to the family.
The officers involved should also be afforded counselling to assist
them during this time as the taking of a life, no matter whose it is can
leave them in a worrying state of mind.
These officers should not be sent out on active duty, but be assigned
to desk/administrative duty while this is being investigated.
We need a permit from the police to engage in peaceful
demonstration; so may I ask if we do not also need a permit to burn
debris on the roadway, polluting the environment, creating a danger,
and causing traffic problems?
Persons suffering from respiratory problems experience serious
health problems when residents go on the rampage. And children
suffering from asthma suffer the most.
It's time the police start charging persons for setting illegal fires
whenever they feel like it. You got the law on your side; so please use it.
HRM responds to Kamla's appeal:
No Retreat, Madam PM
The government should not waste time with this environmentalist.
(1) The commute time presently is for hours each way every day.
The cars on the roads especially for miles on the SS Erin Main Road are
burning greenhouse gases at an incredible rate. The highway will save
the environment, much shorter commute time.
(2) Where the highway is passing will not affect the environment
similarly as it passed through Caroni Swamp. In fact the highway will
(3) If Dr Kublalsingh really cared about the environment why is he
not protesting the destruction of the northern range
(4) Why is he not blocking the quarrying trucks? (5) Why is he not
insisting on the safe disposal of car batteries? (6) Why is he not
organising a team to clean up Mayaro to Mazanilla littered with
It is time the media start asking these questions.
Johnboy: I am not a Dr Kublalsingh fan, but I have to ask, do you
really think it is fair and reasonable to expect one man to do all those
things you mentioned above?
I mean, you really expect the man to: block quarry trucks; lead a
personal protest against the destruction of the Northern Range;
campaign for people to safely dispose of car batteries; and even clean
up Mayaro and Manzan beaches ? Really?
Man stabbed to death during row with relative
T&T needs a lot of support services. So sad that drugs/alcohol could
be so lethal! Domestic violence is different from gang/turf retaliations.
BRIDEZUKI GETS MARRIED
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