Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : November 25th 2013 Contents B3
Monday, November 25, 2013 www.guardian.co.tt Guardian
She: "Where s your passport?
He: "Wherever you have it.
She: "It is where it always is, on
the half-moon table near the cor-
She flings the last T-shirt into
the suitcase and stomps over to
get the document, encased in the
soft brown leather case she had
picked out because she knew he
liked things to look civilised. They
are due, in mere hours, to board
a flight to Happyland (which is
anywhere that has restaurants,
bars, outlet malls, and no screech-
ing headlines about fresh allega-
tions of political corruption in
T&T). It is a long overdue getaway
because Mr Vacations-Are-Over-
rated is always too busy.
She hands him the document,
and starts zipping up the suitcase.
He: "Errrr, I wonder if I seeing
good. This thing expired. Since
Alas, her eyes did not deceive
her. Her head swum. And she did-
n t have a drop of brandy in the
house, or a nice thick rolling pin
for that matter. Also, the last time
she checked, the neighbour had
borrowed the shovel, so it would
be difficult for her to dig a hole
that could hide a body in the back-
She: "Get up, get dressed, get
moving. You are going to the
Immigration Office and grovel if
you have to. Promise them your
first-born child. You are getting
an emergency, expedited, urgent
or whatever passport. Now.
He, moving with all the haste
of a turtle with arthritis: "What s
There must be a way, short of
manslaughter, out of this, she pon-
dered. When in doubt, she always
called Aunty Val, her older, wiser,
and incredibly cute friend.
"Welcome to Dealing With Hus-
bands 101. They all do things like
that, Val clucked. "And if you
behave the way you are supposed
to, they turn it around and make
it look like your fault. Keep calm.
Calm was not an option she had
seriously considered. Aunty Val
could be infuriatingly sensible at
times and her usefulness in the
current scenario was limited since
In the opening lyric of her 1994
single, Be Happy, Mary J Blige said
this: "How can I love somebody else,
if I can t love myself enough to know
when it s time, time to let go?"
It seems that sentiment still rings
true for the singer 19 years later, as
she graces the December cover issue
of Shape Magazine.
For the issue, which hits newsstands
today, Blige opened up about a variety
of topics including her workout reg-
imen and how Whitney Houston s
death inspired her to lead a different
"Whitney Houston s death really
crushed me," she said. "I saw someone
so incredibly talented just diminish,
and I refuse to go out like that."
As part of her epiphany, the 42-
year-old New York native went on to
admit that she feels stronger since
giving up alcohol over a year ago.
"Others may be able to drink and
have a great time, but it doesn t work
for me at this point," she added. "I
haven t had a drink in a year and three
months. I had quit for a long time but
started again about five years ago. I m
off it completely once more, and now
I feel stronger than ever."
In addition to the magazine feature,
Blige also recently released her debut
Christmas album, A Mary Christmas,
and is scheduled to perform during
NBC s annual Christmas In Rockefeller
Center special airing on December 4.
How Whitney Houston's death
inspired Mary J's new lifestyle
she had absolutely no experience in
cleaning up crime scenes. But, please,
what was Aunty Val saying? Who could
possibly blame her, the perfect wife,
for this mess?
He, as if reading her mind: "I not
quarrelling, eh, but how did you let
She stared stupidly, mouth open like
a great black hole of despair.
He: "You are the Keeper of Docu-
ments. You suppose to check the pass-
ports before you book the flight. Hand
me a pair of black socks there, please.
The sound that then came out of her
innards defies description but one might
say it was a cross between a strangled
cat and a sick calf.
Aaah, the power of technology,
prayer, and the determination of a mad
Trini woman who is not too proud to
The flights got re-booked, the taxi
service got the new schedule, the resort
held their rooms---and the new machine
readable emergency passport materi-
As he held the crisp navy document
and admired his likeness within, he
grinned like a schoolboy.
She: "You owe me big time.
He: "You are my hero."
The vacation that almost wasn't
Fans of Mary J Blige took to social media sites like FB and Twitter to comment
about the singer's new toned-up and slimmed-down look on the latest edition
of Shape Magazine. PHOTO COURTESY MARY J BLIGE FAN PAGE
Links Archive November 24th 2013 November 26th 2013 Navigation Previous Page Next Page