Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : February 17th 2014 Contents Note to self: do not leave tap
running in unattended bathtub.
A domestic disaster of watery
characteristics befell me the other
day. I am still a little soggy from
it. Actually, all that water on the
floor made me feel a little guilty
because there are so many dry
houses in dehydrated neighbour-
hoods where dusty, dessicated peo-
ple go without moisture for days.
The guilt wore off in about 3.5 sec-
onds because I was much too busy
ripping towels out of the cupboards
above the dryer and stuffing them
under doors to stanch the flood.
People have called me absent-
minded. But of late, it has become
almost a clinical diagnosis. Either
that or poltergeists have been hid-
ing my cell phone in the refriger-
ator and stealing the cutlery
because I am down to one good
The flood which led to an
unscheduled house cleaning was
almost cause for strong drink
because I got to wondering if I was
coming down with that affliction
which every woman over 35 fears---
Turning Into One s Mother. I think
I could stand anything except that.
Twice a month or so, my moth-
er would leave the tap running in
the laundry sink and flood the
kitchen. She also regularly forgot
where she put keys, money, bank
books, gold bracelets, medicine for
high blood pressure, clothing, birth
certificates, eye glasses, the kettle,
groceries, sticky bags of dinner
mints, cans of insecticide, her
teeth, hairpins, and the blender.
Monday, February 17, 2014 www.guardian.co.tt Guardian
Applications will be accepted from ten (10) working days prior to the auction date. The
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Her lack of memory for anything
useful was not helped by her compul-
sion to hide things, including rolls of
toilet paper, which were stashed under
her bed. In case of a national toilet
paper emergency, she would be pre-
After turning the house upside down,
and accusing me of moving her things
to torment her, she would find the
missing items exactly where she had
left them, and then conceal them again
in new hiding places which she would
then promptly forget. Once, she even
forgot her own name. It was at the
passport office and she was applying
for a new passport and she signed her
childhood nickname, which had not
been used in 40 years, instead of her
So you will understand why I pan-
icked when I heard the gluggluglug
sound coming from the bathroom and
saw the white blouse I had been hand-
washing in the bathroom bathtub float-
ing out the front door. The only thing
preventing me, at that point, from leap-
ing out a window with a picture of Ms
Wrench the Elder stapled to my fore-
head is that I live in a flat house.
While memory loss can be a useful
defence in times of stress (it protected
my mother for years from facing any-
thing she wished to ignore, such as
utility bills and PTA meetings) I have
no desire to develop my talent in that
regard. Hence my new habit of leaving
coloured Post-its to myself everywhere.
Maybe the Flood of 2014 was not so
bad after all. I have a new good habit
to keep (not that I am giving up the
bad ones). The dust bunnies under the
drawing room couch have been washed
away. And you could eat off my floors.
That is, if I could find a spare dinner
fork for you.
I keep forgetting...
People have called me absent-minded. But of
late, it has become almost a clinical
diagnosis. Either that or poltergeists have
been hiding my cell phone in the refrigerator
and stealing the cutlery because I am down
to one good dinner fork.
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