Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : May 27th 2014 Contents A28
Guardian www.guardian.co.tt Tuesday, May 27, 2014
There s a queer sense that
comes over one after a big
event. It s an emptiness, a haunt-
ed, fallow feeling that should have
a better name than "anticlimax,"
but there you go. I feel this sense
of anticlimax now, two weeks after
ending one of the most intensely
fulfilling periods of my life.
Coming back to earth, to T&T
and its foibles, feels so unreal.
Coming home to Dana, to Anil, to
Volney, to Kamla, to racist protest
signs in Port-of-Spain...it all feels
like a bad dream. Section 34 rears
its head again under what seem to
me to be frighteningly disingenu-
ous circumstances, while what at
least one Internet user called
"Section 420" finally comes to
Meanwhile columnists with far
more political savvy than I have
say it s all a distraction so the vot-
ers don t pay attention to Life
Sport and the allegations of cor-
ruption within it.
If indeed Life Sport is corrupt, it
has joined the ranks of every gov-
ernment programme in the history
of this nation. I was in a Social
Welfare office the other day when
I saw a sign banning bribes. I m
probably too naïve to know what
kinds of bribes one could offer a
social welfare officer, and to what
purpose; I guess benefits add up,
though. If I had more criminal
ambition than I have at present I
would quickly be able to work out
why I should be bribing a social
welfare officer and what the cost-
benefit analysis would be.
In a country where it is
absolutely par to have the option
to pay to get a driver s permit
without passing a test, I feel that
any number could play. These
small infractions that we accept
pave the way for larger and larger
ones, so that a man could appear
on a video rolling weed and then
blame someone else entirely for
the appearance of the video---and
escape with barely a slap on the
wrist, no police investigation and
no official censure.
I suppose weed is better than
coke; perhaps had he been filmed
smoking crack it would have
resulted in a better soundbite or
two---we might have got "Yes, I
have smoked crack cocaine. Am I
an addict? No. Have I tried it?
Um, probably in one of my
drunken stupors, probably approx-
imately about a year ago."
And girls must be better than
boys. Had said minister s doppel-
ganger appeared on a video with
males looking like sex workers,
then we d have had more
umbrage, more of a sense that he
had done something wrong.
As it is, the man on the video is
contravening only two or perhaps
three laws. (It depends on what he
was rolling---foreign weed might
have been more damning than
local, or perhaps he was going for
Caricom cred with some good Jam
or Vincie). And these laws being
more honoured in the breach than
in the observance in this country,
all the video has done is to make
the person, whether it is the min-
ister or isn t him in the video,
seem more of a man s man.
But as it is, we are stuck with
"Rowley s voodoo" as our sound-
bite from this travesty, which I
would bet money will go absolute-
Anyway, in commemoration of
the kicksy "video-voodoo" com-
ment uttered by Anil Roberts, I
hereby present a list of things for
which I will blame Keith Rowley.
Perhaps by blaming him for my
ennui I can distract myself from it.
In a good week, WASA sends
water up my hill three nights a
week, for about four hours a
We don t always have good
weeks. My neighbour asked me for
water the other morning and I had
to turn her down because I wasn t
sure when WASA was actually
going to send water again.
Darn your voodoo, Rowley.
My younger daughter is under-
performing in school and NCSE
takes place this week.
Where are you keeping the
voodoo doll of The Lady, Rowley?
I have to find $4,000 this week
for two courses I didn t know I
had to take.
A pox on your voodoo, Mr
I put on 20lbs in Grenada and
haven t yet started back exercising
to lose some weight.
Rowley, again. Why you hating,
A short-story collection should
run to about 50,000 words. I only
have about 30,000 good ones. I
need four new stories, which I
have yet to begin.
Rowley, would you stop with the
We have to thank World
Cup 1998 for giving us
a valuable geography lesson. If
nothing else, we learnt where to
find Croatia on the world map.
Jamaica s first World Cup draw
matched us against this tiny
Eastern Europe nation with an
It s World Cup time and I
have already positioned my arm-
chair in front of the TV and
close to the refrigerator.
This calls for testing of many
a sick leave policy, with the civil
service missing the departmental
leave benefit which, I believe,
has been removed.
With all the advance notice we
can be selective, and for some of
the best early-round matches I
have been advised to pick Spain
vs Netherlands on June 13 (a
repeat of the 2010 final?), Por-
tugal and Germany on June 16,
Chile vs Spain in a very hot
mix-up on June 18, and England
vs Uruguay on June 19 in a
clash of old rivals.
Brazil opens the competition
on June 12 against Croatia. That
seems to be a foregone conclu-
sion in spite of Croatia s ability
to survive. Brazil s first game will
give an indication of what to
expect from Neymar on his
I have a soft spot for the
African teams so I ll be clicking
on Japan vs the Ivory Coast on
June 14, and Nigeria vs Bosnia
and Herzegovina June 21 when
Nigeria could be in for a shock.
We look forward to the Brazil
vs Argentina clash when it
comes. As the popular saying
goes, Brazil s worst nightmare is
not protest demonstrations or
missed deadlines---it is the
thought of Argentina winning
the World Cup on Brazilian soil.
The experts opine that
Argentina with Messi has the
better team, but Brazil, with
Neymar in the front, will be
hard to beat at home.
The age-old rivalry between
the two teams is legendary.
When Argentina boasts that
Pope Francis is a native, Brazil-
ians reply "It s okay that the
new pope is Argentinian, but
everybody knows that God is
Brazilian, and that the World
Cup will be ours, for sure."
So we are in for a swell time,
with the world s best players in
action just a remote switch
away. Ronaldo, Messi and Ney-
mar top the list, but hold the
applause and make way for Eng-
land s Rooney; Uruguay s Suarez,
who may be out from a knee
injury suffered last week; Hol-
land s Robin van Persie; Colom-
bia s Falcao, while defending
champions Spain probably boasts
the best combination with
Andres Iniesta, David Silva and
We will miss the vuvuzela
horn that appeared in South
Africa in 2010; it has been
banned and replaced by a softer
percussion sound. Listen too for
the official anthem written by a
Brazilian, "We will find a way."
So it s off to Brazil next
month. ---Lance Neita, Gleaner
CASTING BLAME, CAUSING DISTRACTIONS
Brazil's worst nightmare
LISA ALLEN AGOSTINI
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