Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : July 27th 2014 Contents | REVIEW |
THE OVERWHELMING NUMBER OF
BREAKUP BOOKS on the market, and the fact
that they are selling better than hot pink nail
polish, is probably an indication of the sad state
of affairs (pun intended) in the modern
woman's love life. And they range from the
deeply pensive, to the spiritual, to the vengeful.
But even in the face of the devastating death of
their long-term relationship, some women are
looking to heal their hearts with laughter.
"Breakup" is just that kind of book. It's written
by Greg Behrendt, stand up comedian and script
consultant on Sex and the City, and his wife,
Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt, a music industry ex-
ecutive, so you can imagine its upbeat, trendy
tone. Lots of people sipping on Starbucks and
shopping their broken hearts away at trendy de-
signer stores. And the fact that the book cover
sports a drool-worthy tub of gourmet ice-cream
in screaming fuchsia and purple show they
know their audience.
It's snarky and very funny...but also loaded with
insightful observations and very good advice.
What kind of advice? Here's a sampling.
It's called a breakup because it's broken: and it
feels like the shards of every painful exchange
and wonderful memory are cutting your heart
to ribbons. Be prepared for pain, but take steps
to work your way through it.
Put the phone down!
No drunk dialling, no sober dialling, no "acciden-
tal" meetings at places you KNOW he's going to
be. No obsessively checking your messages and
testing to see if your phone is broken. And, while
you're at it, no hacking into his email or Face-
book accounts. Apart from the fact that it's ille-
gal, you're bound to find things on there that are
going to hurt you.
He's not hiding in the bottom of that pint of
You're bound to go on a bit of a bender during
your breakup: ice cream and heartache just go
so well together! And so do drugs and
heartache, alcohol and heartache, mindless
spending and heartache.... The fact is, that there
are ways to escape that may be tempting at
first, but are self-destructive in the long run. Is
he really worth the weight gain/alcoholism/drug
Don't drive your friends crazy
Girlfriends are great sources of support in your
time of need, and are almost always ready to
drop what they're doing to rush to your side for
a good, long boo-hoo. They'll also agree with you
that he was a no-good rat and you're well rid of
him. Just don't try their patience by going on
and on and on about your poor lil' achey-breaky
heart. When their eyes glaze over, stop.
You may be tempted to call in sick as often as
you can get away with it, and just sit around
staring at the wall or sniffing the old shirt he left
behind. Don't. Work is a blessing. It gets you out
there, interacting, and meeting people again. If
you're up to your neck in assignments, you
hardly have time to miss him.
Don't paint your relationship a pretty pink
If your romance was all that perfect, you'd still
be together. End the revisionist fantasy: your life
together wasn't perfect. You had good times
and you had bad times. Breaking up tempts you
to indulge in misty water-coloured memories
while completely forgetting the bad times. Get
Go on a 60-day "he-tox"
Stay away from the man for 60 days. No "hang-
ing out as friends", no texts, no desperate late
night calls, booty or otherwise. Step back and
gain some perspective. After 60 days of getting
him out of your system, you just might realise
you're better off.
My impression of this book? I wish I had a third
hand so I could give it three thumbs up. Well
worth the time to read it, especially if you like a
little irreverent fun with your words of wisdom.
A little yuppie at times, perhaps, an certainly
better suited to a metropolitan country where
you can actually avoid someone for 60 days.
(Here in tiny T&T, the odds of you bumping into
your ex at the grocery, on a maxi, or on the Av-
enue are pretty high). There's also not a lot of
help for people who HAVE to stay in contact, for
example, if they have children together. That's
a kettle of different-coloured fish.
But all in all, well written, smart, and effective.
It does its job in the most fun way possible.
July 27, 2014 www.guardian.co.tt Sunday Guardian
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