Home' Trinidad and Tobago Guardian : August 20th 2014 Contents DR MONICA STARKE
The Starke Reality
Guardian www.guardian.co.tt Wednesday, August 20, 2014
In today s world when time is such a precious
commodity, we face, almost on a daily basis, the
great challenge of giving our best at home and
at work. Can we really do so successfully? I believe
that we can, if we equip ourselves with knowledge,
wisdom and a willingness to make necessary
There is so much talk about change and our
changing environment that feelings of real pow-
erlessness can overcome us if we are not careful
and strong. Of course, it is true that change is
taking place rapidly, but I feel that along with this
realisation must come personal strategies for coping.
Each one of us should have a personal action
plan, one that is realistic and one that will work
for us. But, before you proceed to formulate a plan,
let s talk about us.
How are we really making out in today s world
with all the demands that are placed on us?
First, let s talk about our relationships with the
loved ones in our lives, whether they are partners,
friends, children, parents or colleagues. Are they
treating us with the respect that we deserve? Are
we treating them with the respect that they
deserve? Have you noticed how tough it is for a
relationship to survive without the demonstration
of respect on either side? In fact, can it survive?
It probably can, but it will just barely survive with-
out growth and without the true satisfaction and
support that a strong relationship can provide.
We live in times when more than ever, we all
need to work together, side by side, in order to be
successful. So, take some time to do a little exam-
ination of the important relationships in your life.
Remember to give respect yourself, so that you
can "demand" respect from the other party; it is
a two-way street.
And when I talk about respect, I am talking
about the fact that we should take time to listen
to what the other person has to say. I am talking
about taking time to consider the feelings of the
other person. Let s take time to empathise with
the trials and challenges that the other person may
How are we doing as parents?
The parenting role today is one
of our greatest challenges, and
because most of us work outside
the home, we have to wear many
different hats. I am convinced
that we need to clarify our own
values and our own sense of
direction before we can effec-
tively guide our children. I am
convinced that so often many
of us are trapped in the "man-
agement paradigm" that Stephen
Covey talks about that we are
always thinking of control, effi-
ciency and rules, of what others
will think, instead of being
focused on our own sense of
direction, purpose and family
Let s talk about taking care of
ourselves! Too many of us today
believe that when we take care
of ourselves, we are being selfish.
As a result, we feel stressed,
worn out and fed up with our
lives; many of us are barely cop-
It s time for us to wake up and
realise that we deserve to feel
positive about our lives. In fact,
those around you will benefit
when you begin to take positive
action to make your own life
We owe it to our loved ones
and our colleagues in the work-
place to take good care of "us."
Balancing work and family today
• Let us try not to fear change but rather to
see change as an opportunity for growth.
• Some of us are constantly caring for
others; let us begin to also take care of
ourselves. When we feel good about
ourselves, then we can give our best to family
• Stop trying to do everything yourself, at
home and at work. Delegate duties to those
around you who are in a position to help.
• You need to spend as much quality time as
you can with loved ones in order to prevent
feelings of guilt and stress. Make some tough
decisions and be assertive in your planning so
that your schedule will include time for loved
• Prioritise! Put first things first, and
accomplish what you can today. Do the best
you can and put the rest on tomorrow's list.
• Set firm but realistic guidelines for
yourself and your young children. Encourage
your spouse/partner and your teenagers to do
the same. Set aside time to be together.
• Take some time NOW to examine your
personal and professional life. Find the
courage to make necessary changes that will
make your life happier. When you are happy
and fulfilled, everyone around you benefits.
Dr Starke is a lifestyle coach/counsellor and
an OD (organisational development)
consultant who provides workshops/seminars
for employees and supervisors. Please contact
her at firstname.lastname@example.org or
HOW TO GIVE YOUR BEST
Links Archive August 21st 2014 August 19th 2014 Navigation Previous Page Next Page